fully tanked or totally on empty?

we are leaving for vacation saturday... who is stressed out and bitchy when it comes to vacation!?! (besides me...) does it make more sense if we didn't plan the vacation until two days ago?? ugh...

N just left. he thought one of his interviews was saturday, but realized today, once he finally got his cell phone powered up, and retrieved the messages people'd been leaving him since it was dead, that his interview is, in fact, tomorrow (which is friday...). so, he's left for a sudden four hour trip tonight and a looooooong drive home tomorrow so that we can leave for new mexico the next day..... (it is stressing me out just to type this...) to go on a vacation we can't afford...blablabla... i am sure it will be fun and worth it and all those good things once we get there. i wish i was one of those people who handled stress better than this, who found challenges fun and exciting... i'm just not these days. i'm tired and i'm worn and i just want it to be normal, normal, normal. but normal is just too damned stressful!

my good friend was in a wreck tonight. she's a mother of four who also homeschools her kids. she happens to lead a homeschooling group in this area and she means a lot to a lot of people. she means a lot to me. she means a lot to her family. and she was in a wreck. she's ok. she broke her ankle it appears. she also hit her head, and the docs can't decide if they want to keep her overnight or not. she had one of her sons with her, but he was fine. it's just such a fucking "check" when someone you love gets hurt so randomly. we all have to take our knocks...if not directly, then through someone we love, which sometimes hurts more. i guess because our protective instincts are sometimes stronger with loved ones than with ourselves...

my head hurts. i am glad my friend, my sister is well... i will try to be grateful for this vacation opportunity to see more of the world and be fed by nature. i also hope my husband travels safely. traveling mercies, N...

peace