i think i feel like pouting

i don't know...i just don't like hurting. i'm tired of hobbling. i'm tired of being overwhelmed by my kids growing up. i'm tired of not taking things in stride...i mean, can't i choose that? what's my problem?

i'm tired of not feeling like i have the right thing to say, the right way to look at something, the right mindset to get through something.

i don't like being the person that, when you tell me how great your relationship is, all i can do is tell you how i feel disappointed...i swear i don't mean to do that. it's just if we're talking relationships...i should probably be quiet. i don't like trying to joke around and being told to lighten the hell up...okay... i don't like trying to read and telling people i'm trying to read and then they laugh and keep talking. i don't like having to take my kid to take a standardized test...yipes.

think i'm just tired? grouchy? anne lamott calls this the natives getting restless, hearing the drums beat, how it gets really loud sometimes...sometimes it helps to look at it in another person's words...

i think i need a glass of wine...
peace out