blah

oy vey.

i had a post typed up about being treated badly.  and in it, i was right. (just sayin...)   it sucks to be treated badly.  it's a special kind of suck when it's family that treats you badly...kids you birthed...spouses you promised the best of yourself to forever (really?  did i really do that?).  but somewhere in the post, through a lot of flat and stilted and superior sounding writing, i figured out that we all treat each other badly and i shouldn't be too superior or too much of an asshole to my little darlings...or my big darlings...or my big asshole darlings...whatever the case may be.

life is messy. 

i am not sure when my life started feeling like it was going about ten miles over the speed limit all the time.  a friend once told me that the older i got, the faster time would go.  and so far, this is true.  if it keeps speeding up like this, i don't see how i'll be able to breathe in fifteen years. 

i think i am just tired again.  and spread thin.   and it's only tuesday.  but it's also the first week of summer break, so maybe somewhere in here is a routine that i can stay afloat in...not always feel like i am madly treading water...getting sucked under and spit back out and sucked under again.  does this make me a hopeful pessimist or a cynical optimist?

peace