morning

i got to see the sun come up this morning.

appreciating that, after the previous ten hours or so makes me feel like a better person...like a person who opened up a little (ever notice how stress can SHUT. YOU. DOWN?)...let in some light and air and was better for it.  the clean air might've helped... 

what's that mean?, you ask.  well, let me 'splain.  that takes too long.  let me sum up...  (that's a horrible attempt to quote princess bride...)  anyway, i'm watching my nephew today.  which i agreed to awhile back, so of course i forgot, but then i got reminded, and it's all good.  it's my oldest son's spring break, so a day to stay home is good.  plus, we've got other family coming to stay with us wednesday thru saturday, and lots planned in there, so it really works out for one of my favorite kids to be here.  it's just his parents that make me crazy sometimes....  (and i love his parents....and i'm pretty sure they love me....although sometimes i'm afraid they might be just the teensiest bit busy judging me...but whatever...i could be wrong)  my bil showed up last night with three hepa air filters.  three big air filters.  (two of which match the one he insisted on buying when  my youngest was born, but i digress...)  he also changed the filter on my hepa filter and brought a filter for my air conditioner, but it was the wrong size, so my dh just changed it with one of the new ones he'd bought when we first moved in. 

now, this may not seem like a big deal.  to have someone just show up at 9:30 or 10 o'clock at night and balk at how disgusting your filters are and change everything, hooking up new equipment all over.  (it's kind of like being in a wind tunnel right now...no lie)  but it really put me out of sorts...made me feel defensive...blindsided that by agreeing to watch his son, i'd agreed to this invasion and subsequent housekeeping by committee.  oh, and in the sake of fairness, let me explain that my nephew has asthma.  (as do two of my own children who live full time in this pig sty...roll eyes in an overly hurt, overly dramatic way)  my nephew has needed his inhaler the last couple of times he's been here.  his doc says he has a dust allergy.  (oh lord, seriously?  what is going on with human bodies and that one?  makes me think of those poor dogs allergic to grass...)  so i try to vacuum before he comes here.  and that's about the extent of the attention i can pay it.  so my bil decided to make my house hospitable for his kid.  i know it's not THAT big of a deal.  but i'm still a little sore from it.

see, i know my house is kind of dirty.  those of us who are home full-time with a big group of kids like to say that it's lived-in...doesn't look like a museum....shows proper priorities and what not.  and among my laid-back, lived-in-look mama friends, i'm probably at the top of the cleaning list...near the "cleans too much and just might should be kicked out" part of the list of club members.  but then i have an attack of busy or tired and my house goes right back down into the "comfortably lived-in" part of the list...maybe even toward the "might should be considered for hoarders and revoked in the club" section.  but i do it myself, see?  (like when my grandma would turn her hair green and when someone would ask about it, she'd get all proud..."i did it myself"...as though somehow that made it less green...)  it's a family project, really.  i'm trying to get my kids to not be so disgusting...it's a good goal...and i try to gently point out the areas they can improve ("you think you might could remember to RINSE the sink out after you spit your mouth goo in it?"..."how about we pick up this week's socks from next to the couch and take them to the hamper so they can become next week's sock pile?"...and we'll leave the toilet stuff out of it...it's early...i'm not sure i have the stomach just yet).  it was a bit of a violation to have someone come in and take over this small section.  and it was kind of offensive that by agreeing to watch my nephew, my bil came in and only took over a part of housekeeping that he felt was in the interest of his son...like, what about the other seven people who live in this house? 

but it's ok.  my husband said we know how his brother is.  and we do.  and this morning, my husband said i know his brother loves me.  and i said i wasn't too sure about that, how about we don't press it, what with his family coming up this week and me being so tired from all that wrestling with my pride and house cleaning...

peace out