running and learning

running is teaching me things. i think anything we do with much drive that requires discipline that is new to us will teach us things, but since this is one of the first things i've approached with those two ingredients (drive and discipline), it's kind of new to me.

i ran four miles today. that is damn hard work. and i did it. and then i took an hour long nap later. (this was not part of my plan, but my body didn't really care what i had planned...it just needed a freaking nap...)

i am like a whole new person right now. and i don't mean like a bright, shiny new person, either. i mean like, hmmm, i don't usually hurt here, or feel this tired in this way at this time of the day, or why do i feel so warm for no reason...who am i?

i had a blog i was composing in my head about how badly i want to do this (finish the half marathon) and how anxious i get that i won't....be able to finish the run i'm working on, be able to do this, or finish the marathon. and then while i was running, i thought, "it'll be ok if you don't finish..." and my next thought was "NO. you WILL FINISH. you already know you can respect yourself if you don't finish.....look at all the fucking things you haven't finished and you still manage to piece together some self respect. THIS YOU WILL FINISH... and then you can just figure out how much respect to have for yourself after doing that because that will be a new one..."

it's amazing the things that pop into my head when i am totally wearing myself out, pushing myself to my maximum ability. but i will not blog about this today because i am too tired.

the dog whisperer says we should walk our dogs for at least an hour a day (guess i know what i'll be doing after february for a work out) so that they'll be good and tired for the rest of the day....go into a natural restive state. uh, i think i found that natural restive state today. and i can just barely function here...chuckle...but for some reason this cracks me up. i don't know... who am i again?

peace out
marci

here's a video for today. this is what i sing in my head sometimes when i run. although in the video, natalie is looking a little like pink (???) for some reason. but the fiddle player rocks in this one...