gifts

i'm really just not ready to talk about christmas yet...

i mean, it was good. spending time with family always gives lots of gifts. some of them you might actually open your hand up and take, and others, well, maybe not... i'm sure i'll have tons to say about it another time...

so i watched narnia today. and i love that movie. i loved the book, too....and the audio book is amazing. michael york reads it. but the movie's great. liam neeson as the jesus character...uh, yeah, right up my alley.

so the other day, i was thinking about how when edmund is reunited with his siblings, aslan says what's done is done...not to talk about the past. and it occurred to me, "wow, that's what forgiveness is. believing each person is learning from their mistakes...not having to be the one to teach them." that's kind of huge for me. from both ends of the statement.

so tonight...i was just noticing how aslan doesn't ask anything of people. they show up...he might direct them...maybe...but he doesn't demand things from people. but how the white witch just demands, bullies, brutalizes... maybe these things are obvious to others...but they felt new to me as i watched tonight.

and then i was aware of different feelings i had...like i really admire lucy for insisting she'd been to narnia. i mean, when i was a kid, i was totally aware adults wouldn't have thought the whole "land in the wardrobe" idea realistic. i probably would've completely repressed it and never gone back to that freaking weird wardrobe... and i would've completely immobilized my character with wondering what was all my fault...should i have noticed edmund leaving? should i have gotten him a man coat? (would that've made things better...) i spend too much time wanting to rewrite and not dealing well with what's already on the books...

ok, enough. my resources are low. i am grateful for the time i've had with families, the opportunities to serve and be served, the gifts given and received... i know i have to get out of my comfort zone to grow, and i'm grateful for those opportunities, too. but for now, i am tired and weary and ready to rest...

peace
(and happy late christmas)