ooh-ooh-ooh

that's supposed to be a monkey sound...make it while scratching your armpits...i think you'll get the idea...

so i just paid bills. that's depressing. you can only pay out more than you bring in for so long, you know?... and i know it will settle down...sort of. i mean, july was crazy because we went on vacation. and then august gets a little heavy because i order our stuff for a new year hsing. and pay the registration fees for music classes, sports leagues...oh lord, i haven't even paid for their rock climbing gym membership... it'll settle down. sigh....

i decided not to put the kids in cce classes this semester. i was all geared up to do it. felt like i needed to. see, catholics can be kind of funny in that if you put your kids in catholic classes, catholic schools, take them to church, get them to do their sacraments...and THEN they go bad...well, that's not your fault. you did all you could do. but if you didn't' do all that, well, maybe it is your fault... :) and i know that's not true....but as a parent, you want to do the best you can...provide your children the best opportunities. and i felt like maybe i needed to put them in the classes...but i was struggling so hard with it. my spouse and i are not sure how we feel about this church we're at. and putting the kids in the classes there would anchor us to a place we don't even feel 100% comfortable. so, while talking to my sister last night, it just all became really clear to me. we'll attend church for another year and find the one we're most comfortable at....make it a priority this year. there is no race to get these kids religious-sized.... at least not for us. anymore than there's a race to get them to reach academic milestones before they're ready and it's appropriate for them, for us, for our family. that felt good. and it's not like the kids don't have exposure to faith... i felt kind of dumb for trying so hard to push us into something that clearly wasn't the right thing for us right now. i mean, it was just so clear last night. but it's ok. left foot, right foot, breathe.... and my oldest is fine with the decision. gives him another year to discover on his own, gain some confidence in himself...before i throw him to the wolves...hehe...just joking.

oh, and speaking of kid stuff. lanatron and i were talking about the things we do for our kids...and how expensive those activities can get. i walk through the toy aisle in stores and it almost makes me laugh...my mother would never have bought me toys that cost that much. never. but when paying bills this morning, i was amazed at what i'd forked out in the way of classes for my guys. i mean yes, the-rapist gets a healthy chunk of the checks i write, but flute lessons, piano lessons, robotics stuff, co-op...holy moly. and i paid cash for soccer since i forgot my checkbook, so that one wasn't even in there.... it is important to me to provide the guys these opportunities. mostly because i don't know much about robotics, or how to play any instruments, or biology or soccer... but i also want them to have adults in their lives that they see and have the chance to share space with on a regular basis. so while i do believe it's worth it...oh, i just wish residents were paid a little more than $1400 every two weeks. which is not chump change. it's a fine amount. but with four kids exploring the world and their guides needing a little reimbursement for their time...plus stuff like food, utilities, and house payments....well...we'll be eating a fair amount of rice and beans the rest of this year.

because i don't even want to talk about christmas, ok? and do monkeys really ever worry about money?...doubting it...

i'll be gone for the weekend to return sunday. have a lovely labor day weekend.
peace