balance

i think i mentioned that my spouse's schedule is a little funky, so i'm not getting to run lately. at least, not on my treadmill. my sister just reminded me i could do it outside, but do you really want me to tell you how hot it is?....again?....

so there's been all this thinking going on without any physical outlet to let some of this energy work itself out. and i think that's why i've had a nagging headache for a few days. i thought it was caffeine related, but now i'm not so sure. which, again, strikes me how subtle our actions are that maintain some balance...how things affect us in ways we aren't even aware of...how easy it is to upset the balance because it's difficult to realize all that's influencing it. more mystery...

but i will say that i think where mystery and personal responsibility meet and clash is at the line of accountability. who to blame when things go wrong? but i guess what i'm figuring out is that blame serves no one and is so misguided...there's that feeling of if we know how or why something went wrong, we can keep it from happening again. but i think that's a big old maybe. because, like i said, if things that influence outcomes are subtle, then how can we guarantee anything can be avoided? and at what cost? and for what unforeseen result?

so while i learn about and recognize a balance between my mental activity and my physical activity, i do wonder about a balance between the mystery and the not so mysterious...or maybe it's all mysterious...or none at all...(kind of chasing my tail here, huh?)

back to my coffee...
peace