peace

i am tired tonight. worn out. all used up. but in a good way.

i took care of my nephew today. actually, my kids mostly took care of him. it was what he needed and i think it was what they needed too. and i was happy to facilitate that. cute story from today...nephew and my youngest were all decked out in dress up clothes...nephew was wearing a bright orange ball cap and a bandana, western vest and a hawaiian lei. youngest had on a bandana around his head all ninja style and a silver knight's cape. they had been playing under the dining room table, and nephew told me, "our fwiends are coming to live with us...we have to look ouw best." loved it.

i talked to my sil today. there's some rage in that house. but i firmly believe there is more love than rage. sometimes they spill over and it gets kind of messy, but i know the love will win out. she was talking to me about some stuff. and we just took it bit by bit. it was good. one of my nephews, he's sixteen, called her an effin' b. but i saw it in my head as an f.n.b. this was hilarious to me in a way i can't explain to completely explain the hilarity, but i'll try a little by mentioning one of our banks has the initials s.n.b. probably doesn't capture it fully, but it was funny to me. (and no, he didn't actually call her an effin' b...he called her a fucking bitch...but if you can find some light in the dark, why turn away from it?) anyway...we talked through it, an i really think they're working through stuff. if nothing else, they are trying hard and really, what else can we do?

then i talked to another friend. her brother died this past week. she worked through a little rage. just a little. mostly she talked about homeschooling. she just finished her first year of homeschooling, so this is appropriate use of a diversion in my book. so we talked. back and forth. luckily, my brain is pretty flighty to begin with, so it wasn't too hard to keep up with the switches in conversation. and really, all i wanted her to know is that i love her and i'm here to listen to whatever she wants to talk about. i really do love her. and i'm grateful for her friendship. and this was the best way i knew to honor that.

i also talked to another friend somewhere in all of that today. she's got some of her own excitement brewing. in many different aspects of her life. and i love her more than i can express. she's definitely a soul sister to me.

and i sent some prayer flags for my friend battling (more like KICKING THE ASS OF) metastatic melanoma. ok, i don't know that kicking the ass of is the appropriate expression, but i've been dying to scream it out loud, and while typing in all caps was a poor substitute, it'll do for now in this quiet homeschooling life of mine...snort. but we loved making the flags. i don't know why we don't do it for everyone we know. it's a fabulous idea, if you ask me, and i am going to try to remember it. you know, like tomorrow...

so i feel like a tissue all wadded up with peoples' tears and snot and whatnot. but those are sacred tears...sacred snot....sacred whatnot. a baptism of sorts.

peace