my place is of the sun...

indigo girls lyrics. and i've always identified with them. this weekend, i did something i haven't done since high school. i laid out in the sun. now, in high school, it was about achieving the tan. but this weekend, there was just something pulling me to get out there and let that sun touch my skin...let my skin soak up that warmth. it was kind of odd. so, i went and bought myself a fairly skimpy bikini (no, there will be no pics of this...thank god for privacy fences) and some oil with a low spf and laid out a sheet and soaked up some sun. my attention span allows almost a full ten minutes on each side. it felt like heaven...warm, sweaty...it smelled so good outside...and the breeze...it was healing. i can honestly say it's the quietest my head has been in a long time. i did it saturday and sunday. i didn't even tan any. but it felt really good. makes me want to get back up on the treadmill and sweat a little more. but not today. i had my nephew today...who i love dearly. maybe tomorrow. or maybe i'll just lay out a little again. it's nice to have options.

peace

better without words

i saw this movie, august rush, and really liked it, but this was my favorite part. the whole movie was about this "thing" that is really hard to capture in words...love, faith, belief....even in the face of adversity....hell, especially in the face of adversity. when you keep getting that look that says, "well, i think that's a terrible, impossible, stupid idea and i'm telling you so, so don't come crying to me...." which i admit to feeling when other people go chasing their dreams that i don't understand...

anyway...maybe it's the meditating, maybe it's the cold we're passing around, maybe it's that we've been pretty busy and trying to heal at the same time....but words just aren't working for me these days. which doesn't mean things are not going well...they're just not going...verbally.