my place is of the sun...

indigo girls lyrics. and i've always identified with them. this weekend, i did something i haven't done since high school. i laid out in the sun. now, in high school, it was about achieving the tan. but this weekend, there was just something pulling me to get out there and let that sun touch my skin...let my skin soak up that warmth. it was kind of odd. so, i went and bought myself a fairly skimpy bikini (no, there will be no pics of this...thank god for privacy fences) and some oil with a low spf and laid out a sheet and soaked up some sun. my attention span allows almost a full ten minutes on each side. it felt like heaven...warm, sweaty...it smelled so good outside...and the breeze...it was healing. i can honestly say it's the quietest my head has been in a long time. i did it saturday and sunday. i didn't even tan any. but it felt really good. makes me want to get back up on the treadmill and sweat a little more. but not today. i had my nephew today...who i love dearly. maybe tomorrow. or maybe i'll just lay out a little again. it's nice to have options.

peace

being bums

i often wonder if i give my children too much leisure time. (ironically, i balance this out with worrying that i over schedule them...which is it, huh?) we watched three episodes of heroes yesterday. (blockbuster didn't have the third season of lost...wtf?) but then we did our responsibilities and got back on the laundry train, took our heavy comforters off our beds, played outside, bla bla bla. so it's not like we didn't get anything accomplished. but we're taking it easy this week. after running our asses off on vacation last week. too much? not enough? i'm not sure... all i know is that i'm exhausted and have no desire to jump back into the normal routine around here. so i'm taking it easy. hence, my kids get to take it easy. but i have to say, it is awesome listening to them playing with each other, talking about last week, hanging out together, etc, during this time. i'm loving it. so right or wrong, it's good, you know?

i think my spouse wonders if they'll be productive citizens without all the pressures of school, grades, gpa's, etc. i don't know... on margaret and helen's blog today (which i thought was hilarious, btw) one of the points they make is that helen spanked her kids, her kids didn't spank theirs, and eventually, one of them will be proved right. but maybe they'll both prove good enough...who knows? what works for one family doesn't always work for another. i hope my kids are interested in the world and find a way to connect with it...to be a part of it in a way that is mutually beneficial.

ok...i am going to go do a short run. nothing strenuous. i'm also going to neti pot all the junk out of my head again. then, i will get dressed and find something to do with my day. and i'm pretty sure we'll all be smiling while we do it. sometimes life is hard and stressful and crazy...but this is what we've chosen. and it feels good to have some of those times where we remember why we chose and are grateful for the work we're willing to do to be able to share life with each other like this.

peace

trying to stay open

that's my visualization these days...not letting myself clamp down, stress, get tight.

here's a song a friend mentioned a line to earlier today...went and listened to it, and while i usually prefer live versions of them singing, i kind of liked the lyrics being on the screen for this song, even though it made me feel kind of impatient at first...



peace