yawn, snort, sigh

if i had a dollar for every time i've said "i'm so tired" this week...i might not be rich, but i could definitely buy dinner for my family.

i think it's something in the air. i think it's allergens of some sort that started messing with my family back when we visited my uncle's lake house. yet it continues. my eyes are dry and itchy. and my head feels achy. but otherwise, i'm doing alright. my kids are kind of grumpy, too. especially the teenager. and he's kind of cute because i think he's trying not to be a shit to everyone...but then he kind of is a shit to everyone and it blows that whole cute thing...oh well. i don't think he cares too much about whether i think he's cute or not anyway.

our cooperative went well today. two preschoolers came to my art class and participated. that was cool. particularly because neither of these two particular preschoolers do much without their mamas. and yes, their mamas were also in my class today, but hey, it's a start. and that's what's important to me. i can see the potential for these girls to be a part of things, sans mamas, say, six weeks down the line. not a definite thing...but the possibility. and possibility is an exciting thing. especially if you're in my philosophy class. which didn't go quite as well today. i don't know if i was too foggy in the head or just not well prepared enough, but it was kind of all over the place today. i do think we can sort it out some next week...you know, once i figure out how to do that.... but the kids did have a good time with plato's cave allegory today. i thought we'd act it out, but instead decided to just read it to them and let them visualize it. i think they liked the part where they had to pretend they were chained to their chairs while they listened best.

i love the opportunity to teach in this co-op. i love that we are small enough that we can really care about each others' kids...i mean, honestly, we all know each other. most of these kids have been in my house before they were in my classroom. i've had beer or wine with most of these mamas. it's a family atmosphere and i am really grateful for that. because each class has its objectives, each child brings their gift, and each teacher cares enough about both to be gentle and not lose sight of the people we all are. after talking to a friend who teaches in a public school last night, i never appreciated all of these things in this co-op more. my friend is a good teacher. and it's odd to see what public education has done to her. not that public education is evil. not that it's the problem. just that i know what a good person and an exceptional educator my friend is...and while i realize the school year is still young...and while i realize she has more kids in her classroom than any sane person should ask another to take on...and while i realize she was just venting and working through some of the stress of the day...it was still somewhat disheartening. and i love this woman...i truly do.

so again i find myself grateful...albeit tired at the same time.

and i'm still thinking over this whole ego thing...but i don't have much figured out, to be honest. just feeling my way through still...
peace