rising again

so this "i have something the doctors think could possibly be cancer" part of my life has been fruitful, thought provoking... because it seems stupid to worry the kids now, since no one knows what either spot is, N and i only talk about this stuff at night after they go to sleep. and since they've been going to sleep so damned late...well, it's pretty late when we finally have the chance... we're both so tired lately! and the weather sucks, which sucks because the little ones can't run around much. well, unless i make them put on their raincoats....

anyway, last night i was telling N that i realized i was waiting for the doctors to tell me if i was well or not. and something shifted in me. and when i told N something shifted, he asked why. and i told him, "because today, i am well...i don't need a doc to tell me that..." i don't know...sounds goofy, but it was liberating, empowering...a good thing.

i have to drive to rockport to get my dog spayed today. well, she'll get spayed tomorrow, but i have to drive today. and i am tired. lately, i don't feel like i can do the things i've said i would do... but it's important, and i'll get it done...yawn...

the bunny group i work with is at odds. and i threw in my two cents, just because they asked me to be a board member and so when stuff bothers me, or i think we're missing a more common place we could reach, i feel like my opinion was asked by default... but it's sure been quiet... email is such an imperfect vehicle with which to communicate our thoughts. it's tricky, at best. although there are always those people that emails just click with...

ok, enough ramblings...oh! and i found this amazing online store that sells handmade hemp clothes...they were so beautiful. and even though they were pretty damned expensive, i think i might have to place a little order....

ok, done! (just as sir e summons me from the bed...as he wakes at gasp! 10:40!!!! man! 3 year olds today!!!)

peace