we're up, we're down, we're all around...

funny thing, N and i don't think i'll have any cancer anymore. kind of weird, huh? but i still go for the ultrasound tomorrow morning, and my girlfriend will come up to watch the kids, we just don't think we'll be getting any bad news. or if we do, we don't feel doomsday-ish about it anymore. much more peaceful than we've ever been...

the bunny group i work with is in complete upheaval. and i finally started communicating with the few who send communication my way. it's crazy the way people are striving so to argue their sides, so convinced they are "right"...they have the proof...their interpretation is the only one... i know, i know...we hate the most in others what we hate in ourselves. we also tend to surround ourselves with people who see things just like we do. we're afraid of confrontation...well, if we're not sure we're right. but all we gamble in the process of open discussion is the possibility of having our perspective broadened... my, what a philosophical morning...

but honestly, the smallest confrontation can send me reeling, and i need to get myself over that. because no matter what i choose to do with the rest of my life, there will always be some sort of controversy, and i have to be able to approach these things with some calm... i know i feel over-invested in peace, and i get all bent when i don't think others will invest themselves...(which is not very peaceful, huh? i got to get a grip on myself...)

i was laughing at myself last night...here i criticize george w. over his inability to put together a peaceful resolution in iraq, and my bunny rescue/education group sits in complete war... i get it, i get it... sorry mr. president...

my little s is a puking machine lately. i'm worried about him. this doesn't act like a normal stomach bug... he eats fine, but he sleeps and pukes a lot. and it's not violent puking...it's just this wretch, wretch, vomit...wretch, wretch, vomit... i don't know... N runs the questions...is there blood? bile? lots of aching? lots of fever? he's peeing and pooping, so there's probably not an obstruction...yada yada... just give me a soft blanket for my baby, please... he's watching the nightmare before christmas... jack's about to get swept into christmastown...i love this part. i still get this buzz around christmas sometimes... like everything's so wonderful and great, i just can't stand it. well, i didn't have it this christmas, but it still visits me sometimes... ;)

alright, time to start the day. although, i have to say, o has already played around with his place values chart and counting blocks, after realizing doing a connect-the-dots that numbers like 20 and 30 were like zeros, starting all over... so we discussed the place values, and he pulled out his stuff to do some physical experimentation. and now he's working a sudoku for kids. n's outside fighting his demons, as i put it...which means practicing with his sword or staff or whatever he's got. and s and e are watching jack the pumpkin king... i'm watching my goldfish eat... i think today, i'll get some stuff done...

peace