same-ness

my spouse gave all of us haircuts last night. which made it kind of disconcerting this morning to wake up to a household of people who looked mostly like my kids, but kind of different, too.

which was disconcerting in its own way because i've been thinking about a post called "same-ness" since last night...

my friend corey asked me awhile back why i focus so much on how we are the same. she spoke of acknowledging and respecting differences, which i think is the other side of the same gentle coin, and i also try to do. but i have had a number of experiences in my life where i thought i knew how i was different from someone, and was trying to be respectful of it, but it ended up we were startlingly the same. and because those moments felt so humbling to me, they seemed like what i needed to seek out... so same-ness has been my theme lately....the past few years. and here's why i'm writing about it today...

same sex marriages were legalized in california yesterday. and the first same sex marriage united two women that were 84 and 87 years old. and my heart had a big party last night to see that. because as uncomfortable as i know the issue makes some people, and some of those uncomfortable people i love a lot, it's an issue where we are more the same than we are different and as soon as people let go of their differences and realize that, it won't really be an issue anymore.

couples are couples. and they go through a myriad of experiences, all bringing to the table their own unique gifts, weaknesses, expectations, and wounds to heal. whether they are male or female and however they are arranged, they all experience marriage differently, and in that, marriage is remarkably the same. and it's time the right was extended to all adults wishing to participate. it's awesome those women got to see that day in their lifetimes.

my best friend from high school is having a commitment ceremony with her partner in the fall. we live in texas and same sex couples are denied the right to marry here. it would be nice if they could. aside from all the personal, social, philosophical, and moral reasons to marry, it would also be nice for them because then my friend could cut back her working hours and be covered on her partner's insurance...thus allowing her to heal a little from the lupus she's struggled with for almost ten years. i know it would be something to figure out with insurance companies if same sex marriage were legalized all across the united states, but this country figured out how to run the voting process once women were granted the right and it also figured out how to run a lot of new processes once african americans were granted equal citizenship. i think our health care system will be able to handle equal citizenship for homosexuals...and it's due an overhaul, anyway.

so anyway, no, i'm not into politics greatly. and maybe i should be. and maybe, eventually, i will be. but i do think people in one of the greatest nations in the world should be treated fairly and equally...and i do think it's a damned shame when they aren't and nobody seems to notice it. but i also do believe we are good people and pulled to do what is right. so while i cover my responsibilities and explore all the ways to do right in this capacity, i take a few minutes to rejoice and salute when others seem to find a new way to do right in theirs. especially one that changes the landscape of our country...
peace