healing yourself

it's amazing how when things get bad enough, your body just kind of shuts down and you go on auto pilot and do what you have to do...

after posting that last night, i walked to the kitchen to get some tea and cried...and cried....and cried. then i sat down and cried a little more. i'm thinking i needed that. and luckily, i had stopped by the time my family came home. then i took a shower and went to bed. i felt a lot more relaxed than i had in awhile. maybe i should shower at night more often?

i got up early this morning...to take my car to the mechanic. but i had almost a whole hour to myself this morning. i've had coffee and listened to my kids playing together as they've been waking up.

it is incredibly cold (for texas) this morning. the dogs' water bowl is iced over. i need to bring them inside here in a minute. i think my weather link says it is 28 degrees this morning...brrrr....

i think things will be ok. my sister stayed the night with my mom last night, and that is strangely comforting to me that she didn't have to be alone. i'm sure her tests started today, so hopefully we'll know something by tomorrow...maybe even this afternoon, i don't know.

things will also be ok here at home. we will get through residency. we got through med school. i will continue my lessons in the duality of the universe and work on my acceptance of that. i will also probably try to find a therapist to help me keep from falling off of either side of the continuum and somewhere in the middle.

i am going to spend today with my guys...the little ones...well, the ones i gave birth to. maybe we'll just pile up like puppies to stay warm...

peace