i don't feel any wiser?....

so guess what i got today? or what i noticed i have... my first gray hair. i am more taken aback by this than i thought i'd be. i'm kind of happy, sort of. i definitely feel kind of weird about it. i asked N if i looked sexier... i kind of celebrated by buying myself a few things at the outlet mall today. so i'm still aging....

it has been a crazy weekend. i wish to god i'd had someone here holding my hand...then i realize i did. and his name is N and i'm married to him and should really stop undervaluing him. but it was a hell of a weekend. i think i have sobs to come about it...but i just can't go there yet.

and i think my house guest is getting tired of me. really, i don't think it's about me. i think he's just tired of staying somewhere other than where he lives for the past two months. but he's gotten a bit cheeky with me, and i really came close to just firing something not-so-nice back at him, but i realize i was a little over-emotional about the whole thing and let it go. like a typical male, i don't think he ever thought twice about the situation.

anyway.... i am tired.... i am emotional.... i want to be able to walk naked through my house and not care if someone is here. i want a day with my spouse without any time spent at a hospital. i want my oldest son to have his own room back so he'll stop being such a shit to his younger brother. i want my rabbit room to be cleaned without me cleaning it. same for some walls painted... ok, i'm getting lazy and loopy.

i need to go write some lesson plans...

peace out