grrrr...

so i am coming off of an angry high right now. frustrated, disgusted, disappointed. in my seven year old and in myself.

i asked him to do something to reflect having just read bridge to terabithia. draw something. a character, a scene, an object in the story. i mentioned this two days ago. so for the past two days he's done nothing. and today, as his brothers worked to finish their assignments--uh, which were NOT as simple as drawing something--he just made big bambi eyes and crocodile tears. i don't know why he wouldn't do the assignment. we talked about it, i gave him ideas, told him i'd help him. he just didn't want to do it. and i'd say he didn't want to disappoint me, but i don't think he was too hung up on that either. but then, i was pretty ugly in my frustration, so maybe i wasn't that much to disappoint. anyway...

i KNOW we'll read more books as a family and he'll have his folder of books read when it's his time. i know that mostly, it's important to me that n have a folder of books he's read, projects he's done that reflect some examination of the books. and n's worked hard on it. it's not that huge a deal that o have a folder dating back to his second grade year. but i just couldn't believe he wouldn't do it.

and i had those moments looking at him that i was convinced he was doing it to piss me off, outwardly defying me, whatever... but i don't think that was it. whatever it was, he wasn't enjoying it anymore than i was enjoying my rather mindless muscle-flexing trying to get him to do the assignment. so i just don't know what was being unsaid between us.

i do know that i will probably encourage him to do something with each book, but not require it until after christmas of this year. i will keep working with him on his handwriting so that his manuscript is as efficient as possible. i will also probably ask that he go back to using his pencil grip to correct his that is too tight. and i will probably limit his game time somewhat the next few months. i wll encourage him, period, because i think he needs it. i will also let this issue go, because i majorly screwed it up and any potential lessons have been lost at this point. but it's ok. the love lives on and so will our homeschooling lives...and our belief in the value of the journey.

peace out