musings on life, what not...

i asked N last night how we could be so different, and be so completely unaware of it at times. i mean, this isn't one of those times...right now, i'd say we're totally aware of how different we are. or at least i am. i think he just tries to distract himself from it so he can forget. it drives me nuts because 1. it is so opposite of how i handle stuff and 2. it totally makes sense because, uh, like i said, we're so damned different... can't win this one... ("rocky, you can't win!!!") even as a little kid watching rocky movies it always bothered me when she'd say that. how defeating...

i made my first angel food cake yesterday. i don't think they made those before electric mixers, because i cannot imagine what it would take to get egg whites to do that without some electricity... but it came out very angel food-like. so i was happy with it.

i have a friend from high school who just found out she was pregnant. she underwent iui. she and her partner got to choose the guy whose sperm they'd use. it was quite an interesting journey. and now she's preggers... she's very excited and i hope she's feeling well. she has lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, so it's not like she's never faced challenges. but that first trimester? and then the teenage years...but that's getting ahead of ourselves, huh?

my nephew's been calling a bit. i love that guy. but i don't think he has a clue how unsettling our conversations can be. i mean, he's 21 and he and his parents still have so many challenges. all i can see is my possible future if, IF...IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT NOT HAPPEN!!!! i don't know the if, but i sure as hell want one. so it freaks me out a bit.... (i know, i know...shepherding cats again...)

ok, i've got some schooling to do, some gardening to do, some grocery to do... maybe go by the hardware store and look at paint. find our health insurance stuff so i can find out if we have vision and make us some eye doc appts... really exciting stuff, i realize...
peace