Sunday, September 26, 2010


there's this parable in the bible about blind men and an elephant...that if each man feels a different part of the elephant, each one will describe an elephant differently. and they'll all be right. there may be some other levels to it, but that's the explanation that's always stuck with me.

this weekend, we went to visit my husband's family. i feel like kind of an ass when i call them his family, because they're my family, too. but they aren't exactly behaving well, to be honest. so i get a certain satisfaction out of calling them his family (much the same way my sister and i try to pawn off our dad on each other when he's behaving badly..."YOUR father..."..."oh NO, you mean YOUR father..."). anyway. we've kind of stayed out of the thick of things. it was safer and frankly, we have a lot of our own bullshit going on and didn't feel particularly feel the need to get drawn into their bullshit. but the eleven year old really wanted to celebrate with his family (ah-ha! it's HIS family...). he wanted a big dinner with the WHOLE family there (yes, we actually say "all of the family" like we're wannabe gangsters or something...). so god love them, the whole family came. and they kept their bullshit in check. and the eleven year old gave me the big thumbs up and that smile he has that makes me feel like the world is a magical place with no bullshit.

but this is about perspective.

and blind men.

and elephants.

as i have listened to people, observed people, just shared space with occurs to me that we are all on this huge obstacle course. and we're all taking pictures. but good luck making a map using all those pictures at all those angles. it would never happen. some things would be photographed multiple times from multiple angles and we may never actually figure out two pictures are even of the same thing. while other things would probably be missed entirely. there is something delightful to me about this. because there is an inherent knowledge in me that we will never see the whole picture....and perhaps even more importantly, an acceptance. how could we know it all? and why would we ever need faith? and faith is just something that's always with me. like my little toe or something. (ok, ok...i chose my little toe because i broke it once and there have been times my faith may have been a tiny bit fractured or something...)

this is something i've been thinking about. this and the fact that this really pisses some people off.


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

so here's what i've been up to...

this is my teenager, my baby girl, my third born, my fourth born, and my second born...
see? i've been busy. :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

it's not that i'm not thinking about blogging

because i do think about it. not necessarily things i would say, because my thoughts just aren't that fluid right now. but i think about how much i used to enjoy it. sometimes i read old blogs and wish that earthmama chick would start blogging again. then i remember that i'm that earthmama chick and i feel really happy and really sad at the same time. it's a mixed bag these days...

i don't really even have time to read blogs, either. and i feel like i need to make some time....i mean, at least a little, you know? because it helps to read others' words. it really does.

anyway...i have some housekeeping to do. yes, in my house, but also, i mean, around here. cleaning up my blog roll and such. there's actually a blog i've been reading because my sister sends me links. and a few others i haven't added. and then probably a ton i should delete just because i never visit anymore.

i am listening to my teen play his new guitar. he bought a really, really nice guitar. and let me tell you, really, really nice guitars? they sound really, really nice. super nice, to be honest. and it is really freaking sweet to hear him play indigo girls tonight...because they're the most complex acoustic players he's familiar with, donchano?

alright, i'm out for the night. i will try to make it back soon. because i need the release.

peace out