sitting and remembering

this is kind of cheesy after that last post i made...but whatever...when have i ever let that stop me?

there is this step stool i have. it was my grandmother's. i think she bought it with these stamps they used to give out at the local grocery store...for every increment dollar amount you'd spend, you'd get a stamp...collect them in books and redeem them for stuff. i also think this is how she got her china set that my mother just gave me. she was one thrifty grandma. so this step stool...it's carpet covered. and it has four legs...which, by the way, makes it a horribly unstable step stool. but it's a good little sitting stool. which is what i used it for. lots. i watched so many cartoons sitting on that stool at my grandmother's. so i asked for it at some point, and everyone gave it to me. (i am good at asking for things that no one else wants...it's a specialty of mine...haha)

so this morning, after scrambled eggs and piano and playing, my littlest asks for blues clues and settles herself on that sitting stool, ready to watch...just like me so many years before.

it has been a really hard time adjusting to a daughter that is so very different from me. there have certainly been lots and lots of other challenging things going on around the development of this new relationship...and i'm not even going to list any of them. but i just feel like she and i are so different...she is so much pushier, more assertive, LOUDER, not afraid of rocking the damned boat...hell, she'll flip it if that'll get her what she wants.

but this morning, when she looked up at me, smiling, waiting for blues clues, sitting, it was like looking into a mirror...a mirror that links exact images from the past and present. the girl she is and the girl i was...we aren't SO different, i guess... it was profoundly sweet.

as i type this, she is dancing to the blues clues song, doing the motions so earnestly, it's cracking me up...and she's just fallen off of the stool. i guess it's not necessarily stable for all sitters, either.

peace