Sunday, January 20, 2008


i've always felt at home in water. the ocean, a lake, the bath tub, a swimming pool. most of my images in my head (because i often think in pictures) have to do with cleansing, washing, drowning, swimming, flailing, floating... rain is soothing... snow is cool, too...but also disconcerting in a way. i've always thought of life as being fluid...sometimes the waves are choppy, sometimes it feels like a whirlpool, sometimes not. i guess the scary times tend to leave more of an impression. but i have to remember thus far i have survived it all. and it's terrible to get tense and rigid as a swimmer...i'll just sink.

maybe i think this way because i'm an aquarius. maybe it's the seizure disorder i had as a child...maybe it changed something in my brain and that's why i've always felt so different. or maybe i'm not as different as i think i am...and that is okay, too. because there may be ways i'd like to be different, but more often than not, it soothes me to have people who share with me. i am grateful for those who share with me. i am also grateful for my ability to share.


ps---i am also grateful for you tube, which i can say with absolute honesty i never thought i'd say. but i love concerts and watching people sing and you tube lets me do that for a hell of a lot less money and effort than attending a concert. and i get to share it. hoperadio really loved yesterday's video. i did, too. i'd never even heard that song before yesterday. but here's one i've heard many times, i love, and i'll put here so i can see it whenever i need it, too...

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