r.i.p. little guy

so, one of our rabbits died today. we knew it would happen eventually. but it was our little fuzzy white one, fizgig...named after the little white fuzzy creature in that jim henson movie, the dark crystal. he came from a breeder who couldn't care for her 150 rabbits...first they were seized, but then she surrendered them. we had no idea how old he was and all the rabbits we got in that group had so many health issues from neglect. we've had him for a couple of years and for that, we're grateful. dh buried him in our backyard tonight. one thing that surprised me was my teenager's reaction. he cried and cried...big, hard sobs. he and i talked about it tonight. first, he felt guilty...and i don't blame him. this is the first time i've seen a dead bunny, but i've had to have one put down before and that sucked. and i felt guilty. something so small and helpless...seems like i should've been able to do something to save it. the other rabbit i've lost was a mama that had babies at my house...we were told she was a male. when i took her to get spayed, they lost her on the table. and i remember crying a lot over her, too. but i told my oldest that we did the best we could taking care of our little friend...and that it was okay to feel sad over losing a little part our lives. my teen did say he was kind of surprised by how strongly he felt over losing fizgig. my youngest said he wished it had been the rabbit who bites sometimes when he's hungry that would've died. ahh...the circle of life.

peace

weekend recap

a friend of mine came up thursday to stay for a few days. and then my sister came up friday night. it was a busy, fun, gentle, wonderful weekend... (yes, sister...i know you had nothing to do with the gentle stuff...whatever)

i already blogged on friday. i think all that's left to say there is that the bread came out really good, the mozzarella? notsomuch. but, like everything, it was a learning experience. some family also joined us friday evening, and while i was completely exhausted by the time i went to bed, i also had a really great day.

saturday, dh and my sis and i got up and took two cars to get tires done on them, ran dh by the hospital to check in a patient, then we went back and picked up the cars that i couldn't believe were ready. that is, by far, the fastest i've ever seen tires done on a car. it was, well, obviously remarkable...

then we went on a hike for awhile...that was fun. my only regret? i didn't take my camera. but the eight of us had a really good time and saw some really beautiful things...caves, springs, small waterfalls...also some indiana jones-ish ants in the springs, somehow gathering and eating whatever small things they could find even though they seemed to be transported by moving water that they had no control over...and what were they eating? bugs, leaves, fingers, i don't know. they were a little creepy.

then we went to a lake and swam for awhile. the lake was choppy, we all got too much sun, and the fruit was gritty...we had a blast. we never did put the kayaks in, but we did find a great spot to try next time. and we can take the dogs next time, too.

so this morning, it was my sister and i and the kids, on our own. dh was on call. we had a good time. made homemade cinnamon rolls. bought a video game. went to the pet store. bought a friend for amy...named her annie. she's sooooo cute. bought my oldest a few fish for his tank, too. and listened to the "specialty" dog food woman talk so we could get the free sample. (woo!) fun times, fun times.

so everyone is gone now. dh isn't home yet. i'm trying to enjoy the quiet and also let the let-down of the party being over pass through me, too. it was sure fun while it lasted, though...

i still had my morbidly intense moments this weekend, but the weekend wasn't defined by them. i also ate some crappy junk food this weekend...but i'm not defined by that either. i've practiced letting emotions be and go without holding on to them all weekend. and it's felt good...felt right. but it does make who i feel like i "am" a little more fluid, a little more dynamic. and i kind of like that, too...

ok, i'm off to handle my mice for awhile...and anything else i can remember i've been "meaning to do..."
peace