Monday, May 14, 2007

play pretend?

there was a time in my married life that N and i just seemed so overwhelmed by so much negativity (ok, there have been many times...but this one spell stands out in my mind)... because... i remember just looking at him and saying, "let's just pretend things are fine for awhile...let's just pretend all this other shit isn't happening, all these things haven't been said, and let's just pretend we're wildly in love with each other." i thought it was brilliant, but he looked at me like i'd just suggested we roll around naked in chocolate pudding. (which he probably would've liked the sound of better than the pretending idea, but that's another topic for another day...or maybe not).

anyway, i was just thinking about pretending like i know exactly where i'm going in life and how i'm going to get there. and like i have this fabulous circle of friends (which isn't that big of a stretch really) who are so at peace and joyful and we all just click so well and fit in so well and it's all just so damned peachy. hmmmm.... i'll probably need much beer for this... well, it's an idea, dammit!


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