life is good

i spend a lot of time driving right now. today, on the road, this was a song my five year old heard for the first time and really, really liked... (and i realize this is one cheesy assed video, but i couldn't bring myself to post young teenage girls dancing to this song and all the other good ones were embedding disabled, so here ya go...)


so here's the song i heard today on the road for the first time and liked. it's a little idealistic, yes, but i think if i squinted one eye and tilted my head a little sideways, it could almost be a song between my spouse and i. but maybe i'm just goofy like that...


i'm not splitting hairs or anything...it was a fun car ride. i do find it a little disturbing that my five year old has such a definite preference for rap music, but it'll all wash out in the end, i'm sure...i think it will, i think it will, i think it will...

it has been a long week. a growing, stretching, learning, thinking kind of week. and it's been good. but it's also good to rest a little on the weekend. and i am looking forward to that...oh, am i looking forward to that.

peace

ps--i rarely ever do this, but i have to recommend a blog. i just added it to my blog roll yesterday...margaret and helen. they're 83 and willing to call it like they see it...omg, i love reading this blog...they are brilliant.

keeping it light

okay, a little potty humor from today...

my youngest went potty at the rock climbing gym today. we're, what?, four days out from halloween? he'd told me he thought he had to pee and poop, which means "come check on me in a minute because i'll probably need help wiping". so i gave him some time, went in, and while i was wiping him, i noticed the little round poo balls in the bottom of the toilet. so i ask him, "was it hard to get this poo out?" and he says yes. so i go on to tell him it's because he's eating too much candy and a lot of sugar will make him constipated, which means it is very hard to get the poo out. and he replies, "yeah! and i almost had to explode my head when i was pushing it out, too!"

yes, these moments sustain me in some strange way...freaking hilarious.

and i think it's really cool that my fourteen year old has not walked away from the television and election coverage tonight. i think i owe part of this to his founding documents class he's taking in co-op, along with his teacher who i happen to know he really, really likes. but the rest i think really just has to do with an awakening awareness of the world we live in. he mentioned tonight how excited he is to be able to vote in the next election. (which almost made me throw up in my mouth, but i donwannatalkboutthat) i am surprised by how emotional i feel about this election. the realization of an america where an african american man can run for president chokes me up.

alright...was that light? i don't even know. i am soooo morbidly intense right now...i can barely stand myself.

oh, and some thoughts for my spouse's father. he had a heart attack in february, remember? he's re-clogged what they opened already, so surgery is in his future. no one is happy about this. he's a really good man, even if he did instill this overkill work ethic in his sons...so he is on my mind and in my heart.

and this is really small, but my youngest is getting a cold, it sounds like. and since we haven't been sick in so long (which i am grateful for, i promise), it almost makes me cry to hear his hoarse little voice and see his tired little eyes. yes, everything almost makes me cry, but i wanted to mention this one specifically.

peace out

ps--came back to add...so we're still watching election night coverage...and it is cracking me up that my youngest has started referring to the blue states as the rebels and the red states as the empire...think star wars...it's the color of the light sabers, i swear...i don't talk politics with my five year old...anyway...it is, again, one of those things that sustains me.

change

from lamb...

"Lao-tzu built this wall," Josh said.

"The old master who wrote the Tao? I don't think so."

"What does the Tao value above all else?"

"Compassion? Those other two jewel things?"

"No, inaction. Contemplation. Steadiness. Conservatism. A wall is the defense of a country that values inaction. But a wall imprisons the people of a country as much as it protects them. That's why Balthasar had us go this way. He wanted me to see the error in the Tao. One can't be free without action."

"So he spent all that time teaching us the Tao so we could see that it was wrong."

"No, not wrong. Not all of it. The compassion, humility, and moderation of the Tao, these are the qualities of a righteous man, but not inaction. These people are slaves to inaction."

"You worked as a stonecutter, Josh," I said, nodding toward the massive wall. "You think this massive wall was built through inaction?"

"The magus wasn't teaching us about action as in work, it was action as in change. That's why we learned Confucius first--everything having to do with the order of our fathers, the law, manners. Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometimes, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon. That's what Balthasar was trying to teach me."

"I've said it before, Josh--and you know how I love bacon--but I don't think bacon is enough for the Messiah to bring."

"Change," Joshua said. "A Messiah has to bring change. Change comes through action. Balthasar once said to me, 'There's no such thing as a conservative hero.' He was wise, that old man."

"Screw it," I said. "This is going to take forever. How long can it be? Let's go around."

i read this passage to a friend last night. she's made a lot of changes in her life. and i don't think that has to be a bad thing. but i think ignoring those changes is kind of dangerous. it was funny that while we were talking, this passage came to my mind. one line leaves off, the next comes along and keeps carrying things forward, and the circle keeps being made...

a quick story from yesterday... i was eating an ice cream bar. it might have been my fourth ice cream bar, but it was still a moment for me...i was enjoying it. until my five year old called my name from the bathroom. and i was kind of annoyed. because my name, called by that particular child, from that particular room, means one thing...i need to go wipe his butt. and while i can easily accept that parenting has it's dirtier moments and while i usually have no problem helping him with this little hygiene issue, i was peeved he'd ask me to do it while i was eating ice cream...i mean, come on...is nothing sacred?

so i went and did it. i wasn't exactly kind about it. i mean, i didn't hurt him or anything...geez, that sounds horrid...but i didn't conceal my peeved-ness. so he pulls up his pants, flushes, whatever he does after i take care of the dirty stuff. and i go sit down to finish the last couple of bites of ice cream. and then he walks in the dining room, sees my empty ice cream stick, and says,

"mom, can i throw that away for you?"

it was one of those humbling, here's a gift, please see it kind of moments... yeah, sometimes i struggle with what is asked of me. i have a ton of reasons, whines, and complaints about being only human, having my own needs, having so many responsibilities, etc... but when my eyes are open, when i am not blocking it out, when i am not minimizing or ignoring or bitching too much...well, and i guess even sometimes when i am...i see how much i am given...the many sweet gifts i receive. and i am grateful.
peace