life, whatnot

the bean is moving around a lot lately. it kind of weirds me out how much i can feel now, because i know the bean's only going to get bigger the second half of this pregnancy and i'm a little intimidated when i think about it... seems like since this is my fifth pregnancy, i shouldn't be so surprised by all of this, but, well, i am. i feel all thumbs... but it's a good thumby kind of feeling...lots of faith buoying me...and friends letting me know they're doing neat things like praying for me.

it was a good time this past week. we had a lot of fun hanging out with our friends we drove up to see. three mamas, ten kids, one on the way, and no dads...it was good stuff. really, really comfortable.

i just got five new books in the mail. three are about diet, fast food, the connection between health and eating. the other two are an anne lamott book and an inner/primal woman kind of thing. just covering all my bases, you know. i don't know why i haven't been updating my book list...i have read so many books this year. maybe i'll go through the pile next to my bed and put the ones i've read on there...you know, some day.

my house is coming along. not where i want it to be, but not so far behind i feel like it will never catch up.

the bunnies are all still safe. everyone seems to be fine. the one in teen's room is molting...what a freaking drag for poor teen. i think the vacuum will definitely become his good friend. the other two have peed all up and down the divider in their room (which translates to "this is my side and that's yours") and that's fine...whatever makes them happy as long as everybun's ears and eyes stay intact.

and markers...i talked a little this past week to a couple of friends about the bean's marker. i really don't think it's going to amount to anything. i don't always check on my feelings about that, so it was nice to check a little and find them pretty alright. and, i'll say, that for this week, i think the bean might be a girl...just what i'm thinking for this week and there is no promise at all that this is how i'll feel next week...but i thought i'd throw that in today.

otherwise, everything's moving along pretty steadily.
peace

out for a few days

i am heading north a couple of hours to help out a friend and hang out and have a good time, too. i am grateful to be able to help, but i am also grateful to get out of my house for a few days....i'm kind of tired of trying to muster up some motivation to get it in shape. we're making some progress, but when my spouse works nights, it is hard times at home and we're all worn out from it. hoping i can come back feeling a little renewed and less stressed out and, frankly, resentful...

quick rabbit update...mazzy, the male who has kicked every other buns ass around here, is now living in my teen's room. he's got a pretty great set up and i think he's happy, although i will say, he looks a little lost with no asses to kick. oh.well. the other two have a divider between them in the rabbit room...they were both kind of skittish when i put them together yesterday...and who wouldn't be after getting your ass kicked twice each by a vicious old man bunny? but they look pretty calm with each other today and i imagine in the next couple of weeks, they may be back to co-habitating...but i am not getting my hopes up because it's just too frustrating having your hopes dashed continuously by rabbits.

and update on the bean...my spouse got to watch the bean moving around the night before father's day. but on father's day, he actually got to feel the bean move for the first time...so cool stuff there. my second born is the only kid in the house who's felt the bean move...he's really the only one patient enough for that, too, so lucky him.

counseling yesterday was good stuff...talked a lot about my kids. i'd heard stories lately on hazing at the summer camp i love that i worked at as a teen and they really disturbed me. so i told the-rapist how sometimes i feel like i'm raising my children to be weak because i just don't find that type of stuff appropriate at all...or even funny most of the time. like last summer, when teen dropped his first f-bomb...my sil said "that's just how we love each other in our family." you know, by being assholes, i guess. and so i was asking the-rapist what she thought. and she said that she used to think teasing and such was healthy...even necessary. but that after three decades of counseling, that you never know what will end up being some one's issue on the couch when they're fifty. not that i can guess every comment or action that may end up an issue on some one's couch down the road...but why push it? i mean, when i joke around with my friends, i only do it when i know it's safe...when i know trust has been built and they will know, without a doubt, that i am, in fact, joking. and even then, i usually ask and make sure they know i was joking, if i think there is any question. why would i be any less gentle with my children? why would i presume them to have more maturity than one of my friends (who are all pretty wise and mature and stuff)? so, the-rapist left me feeling pretty comfortable in my thoughts on being gentle and whether or not it makes you weak. i mean, don't get me wrong...we tease around here...and sometimes the things that are said make my eyes almost pop out of my head. but we work pretty hard at having a trusting relationship as a family and taking time to realize when some one has been hurt and clearing up any misunderstandings. and i've learned that sometimes i am too focused on what is said, and the best thing to do is just get out and do. then every one's mouths are shut and we don't have the whole misunderstanding problem.

wow...i had a lot to say on that. i've been able to work through a lot of that with my cyber-tribe...and for that, i'm grateful, too.

peace