Tuesday, August 28, 2007

uhm, rambling?

so last night, i was sitting outside and the moon was so bright, the trees were casting shadows. it was really cool, kind of damp-ish. it was amazing. the light in the dark, the coolness after a hot, texas day... lots of stuff going through my head. (plus, i didn't eat much yesterday til dinner, so i'm pretty sure my blood sugar had something to do with the surge of energy and all the insights...)

i was also thinking about the times in the past week i've been out in the kayak, or out in the water at the beach. it's a weird feeling to get really thirsty at those moments, and be surrounded by water, but not able to drink it. something deeply thought provoking about that to me, but i am too tired right now to dig it up... but it did make me think about the times i am surrounded by people but very lonely. and i remembered it all last night because as i was reading outside, i realized i was thirsty. and it was so satisfying to just take a drink from my glass of water and give my body what it was asking for...

also, i was thinking about my nephew. he did a silly thing over the weekend. he messed his car up a bit, but he's safe. he was like, "i'm going to tell you this even though it's going to make you mad." but it didn't make me mad. because obviously, he learned from it and won't be doing it again. so, he learned and everyone's ok. perfect lesson... i wasn't mad. i was grateful he'd shared it with me and happy he was safe and relieved he is still a smart man.

there was also a lunar eclipse this morning. after the bright moonlight last night, N and i got up at 5am to complete cloud cover. checked the front and back yards...no dice. couldn't even find the moon--or the eclipsed moon. it was a drag. all that light and then poof, the clouds roll in and you can't see it. but it's ok. we saw a really nice eclipse back at our previous home one night. and it was from 9pm to 11pm or so....and that was a hell of a lot more comfortable for all of us. i still feel like i have broken glass floating around in my brain from getting up so early. (and falling asleep so late with all these thoughts running)

oh, here's a random one... i was thinking about my animals. how i always seem to think they'll really be happy once i can devote all this idyllic attention i keep meaning to get around to... (ended that with a prep...darn) anyway, it just occurred to me that my animals are fairly happy, if not all out ecstatic. i don't know why i keep "withholding" my love and refraining from accepting theirs. i guess this was interesting to me because i was wondering what the human equivalent would be, if there was one...but i didn't delve too far.

ok, time to start school. oh! and i had a great conversation with N about hsing last night, too. i think i might get him on board with well-trained mind science stuff. i'm not exactly fulfilled with where we are right now, but i am very happy with the possibilities that we create by just keeping moving forward... it was a great feeling.

alright, now, "school"...

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