marathon lessons

ok, so i didn't win. (snort...my bil, for some reason, kept reminding me of the purse in this marathon, which was annoying after the second or third time...it was this implication that if i was going to run, i might as well try to win or something...buzzkill...)

but i did finish. and i did shave about twelve minutes off of my time in february. my sister had the goal that we'd finish in under three hours. and i admit, i thought that goal was kind of crazy since she hadn't run in two months prior to the half marathon and i hadn't run the two weeks prior. but, like this shirt i saw on the course (and as the mandela quote on the right reminded me of, too)...marathons are the triumph of desire over reason. and my sister and i experienced that triumph yesterday...it was awesome. (we finished in two hours, fifty-nine minutes, and thirty-seven seconds...shweet)

but triumph and awesome-ness sometimes hurt like hell. and my sister and i are also experiencing that today. oh yeah baby...can you say hobble? well, i can. (and i mean i can hobble...not just say it...hope, we didn't do too well without you to remind us to stretch afterward...oh well...it was humbling and we'll never forget again, i'm sure.)

but let me tell you something about my sister and i. or something i learned about my sister and i. or something i figured out about my sister and i. we are good partners in these kind of deals. because she is stubborn and cynical and freaking hilarious. (there was this moment that i don't think i'll ever forget...strangely it was one of my favorite half marathon moments...where we ran by this guy in a banana suit and my sister looked him in the eye and started shouting "peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time" and the guy's eye lit up and he and his friends and my sister finished this little chant from family guy that she showed me last night so i'd get it...but it was so random and so hilarious and this is the stuff my sister excels at.) anyway, she thinks i'd leave her in the dust if i didn't run with her. and i did pull her along a little at the end. it was a sweet moment when i told her we could make her goal even if we walked, but that we'd have to walk faster and she looked at me and said, not all yelling at me either, "but i am walking fast" and suddenly looked like a little kid again. anyway, what she doesn't know is that i may be able to run longer, or ignore the pain better than her (i HAVE had four children to her never even had intercourse, you know...), but i would never be able to do this without her. there are things she believes about me and limbs she is willing to walk out on with me that no one else in this world would even consider. and for that, i am strong. well, i'm sure working out and training has a little to do with being strong, but it makes me determined...and there's a lot of strength in that, too.

we had a big cheerleading section at the seventh mile marker yesterday. my mom. my spouse and kids. my bff from high school and her partner. that awesome friend i was writing about awhile back who plays beautiful music. and also my sister's new girlfriend, who i really like a lot and is already part of our family. i cannot tell you what a lift seeing all of them was.

and i told my cyber mama tribe i would be thinking about them while i ran. and i did. they are such a diverse, strong, gentle group of women.

so of all the shirts i saw that were inspiring...

the older i get, the faster i was

on a really long beer run

marathon, the triumph of desire over reason

who moved the finish line?

i know i run like a girl, try to keep up.

and my personal favorite, does this shirt make my butt look fast?

i have to go with...13.1 miles and still smiling.
peace

there is so much i want to say...

but it won't be today.

i'm recovering today. i'm sore, but it's surprisingly manageable. really, it's just my calves and my shins. the rest of my body...maybe it's still numb... :)

so i'm resting...doing a little looking up of stuff on the internet, reading some of the new anne lamott book i bought this weekend. (she's going to be signing her book at a barnes and nobles in austin next month....i almost peed myself....i'm gonna go SEE her....don't know if i'll talk to her, but i'm gonna SEE her....creepy, stalker-type laugh)

this whole experience brought me so much. talking about positive energy the past few weeks...i think moving forward for thirteen miles really shifts something internally in a very positive way. but i still need some time to process this.... but there is so much i want to write about it. just so i don't forget it. (well, until next november, when i run the san antonio half marathon because i'm all addicted like that now...)

peace

some thoughts i just need to get out...

so first of all...it really bothers me that i'm calling it a countdown to the half marathon, but then i count UP...hello? so...i guess that makes today countdown day....uhm....four. well, that's kind of weird. but tomorrow will be three (again), ok? follow? this is just something i've been thinking about and need to do for myself.

and then there's that whole "what's in a name" post that i didn't wrap up too well. because i really have been thinking about it a lot. see, this guy left some not-too-nice posts on a friend's blog. well, it started out not-too-nice and then quickly progressed to pretty-freaking-vicious. which is fine... i mean, it's not, but i'm familiar with nastiness and am able to blow it off okgoodnuff. but this guy was saying he was being vicious and nasty in a desire to save someone...to help this friend...to promote positive action via anger, or something like that. which really struck a nerve for me. helping someone by hurting them... that has never, in all my life, made sense to me.

this guy said he was doing this out of a strong commitment to what is right. individualism vs. collectivism. he was trying to liberate this friend out of the bondage of her common friendships with everyone else... he really seemed to see himself as a trailblazer and, in a smaller sense, a messiah. he seemed to think he alone delivered the message of truth and happiness and freedom from depression, anxiety, low self esteem, fear, self loathing... but the thing is...he also seemed to be the only one who had the answers. no where in the things he said did i see him saying anyone else could know what might lead them on a brighter, lighter path. he held all the answers himself and if everyone would just do as he says, i guess the world would be a better, stronger place? i don't know.

i admire someone willing to stand up for what they believe in. i admire someone willing to go against the pack, if they feel that's necessary. because i know it can take a visionary to move a population out of a status quo that hurts or is wrong. but i also know there's a difference between leaders like gandhi and, say, david koresh. or jesus christ and charles manson. and i think it lies in what they ask of others, how and why they ask it, and the example they provide in their own lives.

i don't think this guy, or any of those guys, are necessarily bad people. but i do think that sometimes people get caught up in primarily fulfilling their own needs, and make bad decisions in meeting those needs. i think some people, for whatever reason, don't develop a sense of empathy or even respect for others, outside of those others' abilities to meet that primary person's needs. it's not always criminal, a least not in a judicial sense... but it is something that i've often tried to understand, wrap my brain around... maybe getting this out will let me move on to the next level of understanding?...

and the half marathon... i stood in poison ivy yesterday. accidentally, of course. i quickly washed my feet off with this stuff called tecnu and am hoping for the best. and i ran seven miles yesterday. which was a lot of work. my treadill cuts itself off after 100 minutes...thank god. my knees are a little sore this morning, but my knee supporting running tights are scheduled to get here friday, and i just can't even convey how happy that makes me. so i think i can do this. oh, and you burn over 1100 calories running seven miles....yeah, i think i really might have run off half my ass...woo-hoo!

kids are good, spouse is good...lots of thinks bumping around in my head...but consciously letting go of negative feelings that might come with some thoughts and allowing the rest to be neutral or even attaching some positive energy to them makes all the difference for me. thank you, thank you, thank you...
peace

countdown day two

so....got a perspective tune up today. my belt was a little too loose...running a little too much on the negative side. but i tightened it. feeling much more positive. negative is temporary, right?

there's a lot i want to say. but trying to frame things positively...i'm a little nervous about attempting a whole blog entry. ba! there was an incident while i was at my appointment today, between my oldest and my third born. (i mentioned once that the first initials of their names spell "no" right?) anyway...we worked through it...quite positively, i might add. i was telling my co-parent that i think that made all the difference. it's much better than, "i'm totally disgusted by what you did and have no freaking clue where i went wrong or how it's going to get better"...you know? i focused on the positives...there are positives--holy moly!

my thirdborn is singing the lyrics to "iron man"...i wonder sometimes what other mamas think about my kids singing ozzy ozbourne. ok, i really wonder what i think about my kids singing ozzy ozbourne....

ok, i have a lot to do. i am thinking about a lot of friends...mostly women...that i love and appreciate and am grateful for. yeah...it's good....half marathon half shmarathon...easy shmeasy
peace