sun and moon

ok, i'm a little tired, but i've been thinking about this one for a few days now...

saturday, as we drove to our robotics competition, at the butt crack of dawn...no, i don't know what time that really is, but i am not a morning person...if it is still dark and we are calling it morning, i call it the butt crack of dawn...so there's that.

at the butt crack of dawn on saturday, we were driving down the interstate. on the left side of the interstate, the sun was just barely beginning to put a little light in the sky. on the right side of the interstate, i could still vividly see the moon behind clouds. i do want to say that i was a passenger that day, so i never really dialed in to what i was seeing. i did think it was beautiful and i did comment on it, but then i just went back to staring at the road ahead and not thinking of much of anything.

but this morning, as i drove my teen to his first day of his dual enrollment class...at a campus where almost everyone smokes, and many of the young men drive horribly, and they all have their pants hanging below their butts (i mean what is that? i know i did some goofy stuff to fit in...yes, my hair was quite tall for awhile there, but what's the deal with wearing your pants below you ass? can you even reach pockets behind your knees? i don't think so...)...anyway...you get the idea. it was kind of a more grown up thing that when he takes biology in a classroom with bible verses all over it, if you know what i mean. but on the way up there (because it's an hour drive...feel free to recommend or lend good audio books), the sun was up and the moon was still out. we watched the sun come up. it was neat. we kept waiting for the moon to retreat. but it didn't. i don't know where it finally went. it was like instead of going down, it was backing up...almost vaporizing itself or something.

and it made me think of the duality of things. opposites. can you have one without the other? and can they exist at the same time? i don't normally think that opposites can happen at the same time. i know my kids can be beautiful and awful...but i don't normally feel both at a given moment. it's like a movement between these two extremes along a continuum...so how can it be both at once?

this weekend was the culmination (for now anyway) of much practice, much work, much learning, much growth. and it was not all fun. it did not all feel good. i don't even know if you put the warm fuzzies in one side of a balance and the pissed off freezies (like that one? i just made it up) in the other, which side would be heavier... but it was good. many, many good things came out of it. and i am glad we did it. it left me empty as hell last night. (AND i started my period...how is that fair?) but it will fill me up for a long time...and give us so much fodder for more growth.

here are some lyrics to a song i was listening to today that i really liked...

every day is a bank account
time is our currency
no one's rich, no body's poor
we get twenty-four hours each

so how are you gonna spend
will you invest or squander?
try to get ahead
or help someone who's under?

that's just the stuff my worn out brain was thinking about today...not a whole lot of conclusions...just some stoned on tired observations, i guess...
peace

full moon

today, during o's soccer practice, while i was talking to the rest of the parents, we all watched and appreciated the shift from a lovely day into a beautiful evening. it was so cool...i've talked to these parents all season. but tonight, we talked politics. let me say, i live in a small, conservative town in texas...i don't talk politics...not with people i haven't known for at least a year, if not a decade. but tonight was different. i listened a lot before i spoke...but it was neat to listen to them all. and then we'd all stop for awhile to take in the night...and then the conversation would go on.

things have been really busy lately. and at times like this, a lot gets shifted aside. but there are some things that are just a part of life. and just because i haven't had time to put them into words doesn't mean they weren't shifting, too...changing me...making life richer. but it's funny, to me, to appreciate what i can't name. my friend ken did a blog awhile back where he said that upon observing a beautiful sunset with a friend, probably the best way to put it into words would be to point and say, "ugh." that made me laugh. but it is so true sometimes... i guess the true test is whether you're sharing space with someone who would have a clue what "ugh" meant. but i feel like i've been fortunate enough to share space with people who just might get it...and give a lot back in return.

there are so many things i'd like to talk about...my kids...my spouse...my family and friends. hsing. the co-op. church. but something inside of me just says it's not time to try to put these things into words yet. and i am trying so hard to respect it...because it's not that difficult to force these fingers to type something....anything... but i will wait til it's time...

peace

some random ramblings

i've got a cold right now...and while i feel better than i normally feel when my body is fighting something, mornings are rough and so are afternoons. and i am looking forward to laying down a lot this afternoon when we've dropped off the friend my children have had over to visit.

but i do want to remind myself that i want to take the kids out to watch the moon rising tonight. it is supposed to be, or appear, huge. and whether it's an optical illusion or not, i'd still like for them to see it.

sometimes i catch myself waiting for something...only i'm not sure what exactly i'm waiting for. but i can feel the anticipation building... i don't know. it's something i've become aware of and i'm kind of baffled by.

communication is getting better between my spouse and i. baby steps....baby steps. but it's good timing because we really need to unite and throw out the screens for awhile. the kids are soooo dependent on a screen to entertain them right now. and i don't even care if they watch tv...it's all the video games... we will get there.

ok, sneeze attack. i'm out of here.
peace