ask and ye shall receive

and be grateful for the gift...

i really thought i was out of rope last night. i put the kids to bed and cried for about half an hour. it all just felt....so.....huge. money, discussions, commitments, frustrations, exhaustion...i was swimming in it.

and then today was so very different. i woke up and cooked to take food to a mama in need. made two batches of banana bread, some homemade biscuits, chicken soup, and cut up a watermelon. while doing that, i emailed a few times with a very discontent mama in the cooperative learning endeavour we're undertaking. i worked very hard to not get pulled into her arguments as they shot off in different directions, but to stay focused on the true issue and mostly, the main goal of the children. i was very tempted to be sent off chasing after her arguments, no matter how irrelevant or scattered they were because i do feel an amount of ownership over this endeavour and want everyone to be happy participating in it, but i had to be real (with a little help from three or four of my closest people) and ask her to take responsibility for her happiness. it was hard, but it was good. then i took the kids to piano. then we took the food to the mama in need. she just found out her son is ill. she's been through the arguing with docs to find the diagnosis and evaluate the illness's progress part. now she's at the accepting and getting on with life part. she looks very sad. i think more than the food, she just needed our company. i'll have to go see her again...maybe this time i'll just bake a cake. something a little simpler...

soccer practice went well. the coach is still, well, grumpy a little. but the funny thing is that since he said all this stuff to the kids, you can tell they're going to hold him to it. "it's about having fun." "as long as we play our best, we can't be angry at ourselves or each other." "it's not about winning...." i think it'll be interesting. and i really enjoyed talking to one of the mamas on the soccer team. i recommended blogging to her when she said she wanted to start writing more but didn't know how to begin. we talked about books--the dance of the dissident daughter, marcus borg--she's working on her hospital chaplain residency. she loves spirituality, is not so turned on by religion, and likes harry potter...even sees the christian elements in it. she taught a bible study on harry potter at vacation bible school....that takes balls in the bible belt! i think i'm going to have to hang with this mama some...

so today was so very different. i asked for help last night, and it was like a shower all across the board. and don't think i didn't notice...because i sure did....all the way down to my gently curling toes. so all that's left is...

thank you, thank you, thank you
peace