Wednesday, April 16, 2008

help me, help me, help me

that is my prayer today.

i have a mean headache. i think it's a stress headache. which is the first non-sinus headache i've had since i moved here.

i am supposed to cook dinner to take to a woman who's been having a rough couple of months. i hated telling my kids it was so they could eat well and be healthy while i served them mac and cheese from a box...

there is a woman who was trying to be helpful in this cooperative arrangement we're working on with a group of mamas. but she wasn't helpful. or maybe she was and we just totally missed it. whichever, i just sent her an email telling her we'd let her know when we were ready for her to sign up, but for now, she can just wait. this stresses me out quite a lot. even though i know it is okay...and probably more than okay, it's probably what NEEDED to be done. it is just not always hearts and flowers to do the right thing. and where the hell does she get off?....

my spouse is wiped out. tired, worn, grouchy, negative, pissy, big old bags under the eyes. and i can take all of that alright. but when he gets to the point that he's weepy, then i start to lose it a little, too. and that's how he was today. telling me he misses us. and i go to be sarcastic and notice the tears and, well, i'm such a jerk. i still made a little joke but then i hugged him. i bought him the new norah jones today. (with a gift certificate! woo-hoo!) we'll see if that helps.

i am just tired of our lives being so stressful. i am ready for the ride to even out. and i know i just have to wait and it will even out and things will be fine...or closer to fine anyway. (score on indigo girls song titles...)

i think i just need to go to bed...i'm feeling a bit weepy myself.

1 comment:

corscorp said...

That song is forever stuck in my head. Even on the calmest of days there are still ripples on the water. I hope you find your center soon, M, or I might have to call you. ♥