Monday, September 8, 2008

lego my ego

this title makes me leggo my eggo, but different. and no, it doesn't rhyme. but it looks good...and that pleases me just as much. so what does it mean?...

i went to this lego robotics kick off event saturday. and holy moly macaroni!!! (this was my favorite saying as a kid) the possibilities...the experience...the practice...the exposure...the ability to integrate and affect a word, and there are so many things I'D like to do with it. i mean, with an opportunity like that, i could really make things happen. it's all so laid out for well many resources ready to help me change the world...

oh wait...this is not for me. this is for the five teenage and pre-teenage boys i'm, you know, the loosest sense of the word. i'm facilitating, guiding, supporting, cheering on, channeling at my most productive because energy from young men at this age...i'm telling you, it could level a small town if it isn't properly channeled. (and i happen to live in a small town, so you understand the importance of channeling...)

so as all this was coming together in my head, lego my ego became the slogan. but i have to admit that at this point in my life, lego is not the only time my ego becomes apparent and problematic. well, problematic in the sense that as i become aware of it, i kind of find it a problem how much it's running things. it is certainly humbling... but i have not practiced this enough to really know what i'm talking about...just feel it a little. still, i had to write the lego my ego post before i forgot all about it and it was lost beneath the feathers of my discarded or untended thoughts...

i also want to post some words of others than i've been rolling around in those feathers in my head, and also in my heart lately...all music, of course.

"You know, me and Jesus, we're of the same heart. The only thing that keeps us distant is I keep fucking up."

"I fought with a stranger and I met myself. I opened my mouth and I heard myself. It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself. I guess I could've made it easier on myself. But I could never follow."

"I've never seemed to do it like anybody else."

"The wood is tired. And the wood is old. And we'll make it fine, if the weather holds. But if the weather holds, we'll have missed the point. And that's where I need to go."

that last line has been getting me so hard lately...alternately lifting me up and making me cry. and the line before...same thing. like annie says about a friend of hers over dinner, i'm a little erratic these days.

last night's concert was wonderful. it was such a small, friendly church. we all had a really good time. and i am again grateful to be able to be a part of these women's lives...they have been so welcoming and kind, generous. and they're all so wonderful. it makes me appreciative of all the women who have become a part of my life and allowed me to become a part of theirs. i mean, the men are cool, too...they really are...but there's something about sisters...

i'll have to work more on this ego thing...if you've gotten this far and you feel so inclined...tell me what ego means to you. i'm a word whore, so the more ways i see something expressed in writing, the more i understand what it is or isn't to me...unless you think whores or bad...then you might not want to encourage me in this hobby... ;)

--had to come back to add--

ps--my friend jen has lots of cool, good luck/good karma kind of things happen to her. and i know sometimes it truly is a matter of quantity of nice things happening...but sometimes it can be a matter of awareness of those nice things happening to a person. sooooo... today, i'm on the phone with my sister and i decide to run the trash can down to the street for trash pick up. as i walk outside, the trash man is driving his truck out of my culdesac, and i mean fast... but he sees me, backs the truck up, takes the trash can from me, wheels it to the side of the truck so the truck can do its thing, then introduces himself to me, asks my name, and gives me back my now empty trash can. cool, huh?

he then followed me up my driveway to offer to take the broken television waiting to be properly disposed of at the top of it...and i admit that kind of seemed a bit like overkill to me...but i told him my husband was taking care of that and thanks. so...i know if i write this down, my chances of actually remembering it will increase. and i did think it was pretty darn cool of him to back his truck up to get my trash...'specially since he seemed in such a big hurry and all... :)

also...culturally defining movies. when we had our friends sleeping over the other night, everyone got to see the wizard of oz for the first time. (everyone but oldest, who was so terrified of the flying monkeys he hadn't seen it in ten years) then today, my kids watched the outsiders. and i was a little worried about them watching that, so i sat and watched it with them. aside from being weird seeing patrick swayze, c. thomas howell, ralph macchio, matt dillon, rob lowe, tom cruise, and emilio estevez sooooooooo long really was a good choice for them. littlest played with his piano book through most of it, but the whole "three brothers on their own...being the kind of greasers who cry...tough enough to kick ass but kind enough to take care of each other" was a cool thing for this family of four brothers... good for them to know i'm not just making shit up and trying to turn them into pansies.

ok, i am really done for the day. i swear.


JO said...

Yeah, I think you have to notice the nice things. So many people don't. And so many nice things are small things. Things that just give you a lift. I'm glad you had that too. :)

And I'm so glad you introduced my monkeys to the Wizard of Oz!

corscorp said...

You're all over the place in your thoughts lately but they seem very crisp and positive.

I have always wanted a brother. Most probably ever since reading The Outsiders.

lilizzyykittyymom said...

He backed his truck up for a nice hot lady, who wouldn't? :)