when a tree falls...

...in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? that's the question, right? the one on tshirts and stuff. i've seen a tshirt that says if a woman nags and there's no husband to hear it, is she really nagging...or something like that. but i've been thinking a lot about this question...because there are a lot of changes people go through in a way that no one else may witness directly...and everyone tends to have a different interpretation of what or why things have changed...and that made me think of the tree falling in the forest.

i have more to say on this, but first some coffee...
peace

first day of cooperative

sigh, what a great, great thing we've done... i had soooo much fun. and the kids...oh man, they were in heaven.

e loved his classes...math was the favorite. (she brought an electric card shuffler...this was, in a word, genius...well, i almost said cheating, but i don't want to be bitter...it was freaking genius) then i did an art class where we matched paintings and then we did our own paintings...e called his "charger" and the other student (yep, there're only two littles for now) called his "at the park"....guess what it was of... they finished the day with spanish, which i also believed they loved, but it was unanimous...math rocked.

s and o did spanish first. then writing and grammar, which sounded like they were having a good time. and their last class was philosophy with me...oh man, i LOVE that class... s and o said they liked their classes a lot, but s was kind of sleepy and shy and i will say that out of all the kids in my philosophy class (seven), my two were the least talkative, with o being more chatty than s by far...so i'm thinking s was a little sleepy and trying to figure stuff out the first day.

n had founding documents...he's reading the magna carta for next week, i think. then speech. then biology. he sounded pretty happy with his classes.

so let me talk about philosophy for a minute... first of all, i was so RELIEVED at how much the kids were ready to talk...i only had to remind them a few times that we had to speak one at a time. and the two emily dickinson poems we did? easy shmeasy. ok, not really. but the kids stuck them out, picked out the words they didn't know, worked to understand them and put them together to figure the poems out and we actually left off with a pretty good understanding of what dwelling in possibility meant. one of my students, when i gave them their journals and asked them to draw or write what possibility was, said the empty page was like possibility...nothing and everything at the same time. that almost made me cry. then when we were talking about imagination and what it felt like to be imaginative...the kids were talking about imagination being dreaming...that was cool. and they all talked about how good it felt to be imaginative or thinking or meditating. and they were the ones to make the leap between imagination and dwelling in possibility...the limitless opportunities, the freedoms. it was awesome. i'll share the poem they wrote together as a class, modeled after dickinson's "i'm nobody. who are you?" these kids are brilliant.

my spouse left me a card and a plant to congratulate me for being part of getting this co-op rolling. it was pretty freaking sweet.

so now, i nap. snort... well, i think i will rest for a bit. then work on getting the shit organized that i stupidly left until, well, now to organize. (that probably would've been good to have done, oh, say, before today.) but live and learn....that's what i always (starting now) say...live and learn.
peace

home

what a lovely weekend. i do not see my stepmother's family often enough.

my grandparents are doing well...they are the ones i've mentioned before that have alzheimer's. but they are on good meds now and doing better than i had heard they were doing. they're a little skinnier and so look a little frailer, but at least they were fairly coherent and sweet and happy to see us, even though they weren't quite sure who all of us were.

we hung out at my uncle's lake house yesterday. the kids got too much sun, had way too much fun, and the adults got a little too crass, but it was all in good fun. i am so, so glad i went. it had been awhile since we'd really gotten to hang out with my dad and stepmom, too. and that was really quite good. and it's always a good time when my sister's around. we are now purple haze buddies...

and while i was gone, sarah palin was picked at the republican vp candidate... i really hate it when stuff like that happens and i'm too busy having fun to obsess over reading about what the hell happened. i've also missed out on checking on gustav's progress. i know my aunt in new orleans is evacuating...moving stuff out of dodge. it's weird when the world goes on without me...and didn't even seem to notice i was gone...snort. (i've been snorting a lot lately...have you noticed this? i have...)

so there are lots of things i want to write about. but we have our first meeting of our inclusive homeschool co-op on tuesday and while i've been mentally preparing, my lesson plan sheets are, well, empty. so i have to work on those things. art with littles, philosophizing with middles. this semester will feed parts of me that i haven't fed so well in a long time. i can't wait to see what the kids will teach me.

peace

big minds

i'm reading a book called little big minds, sharing philosophy with kids. i'm adapting it (visually and organizationally) into a curriculum i'll be teaching at our co-op this fall. i've had a pounding headache the last couple of days, so i'm just going to post this quote that really got me when i was working on the chapter on friendship...

In their analysis of friendship, philosophers have been confounded by the ways in which we complicate communication and connection unnecessarily, in spite of our deep desire for both. Why do we get in our own way? We know when we are shutting down and pushing someone away from us. We are aware when we are not making an effort, yet we continue to let friendships fade. For many of us, it is a challenge to allow our friendships to find their own rhythm, and instead we manipulate them to suit our needs.

i often try to teach my kids stuff because it's something i need to know. and i feel kind of guilty when i look back and realize that...it doesn't seem fair to make my kids listen (repeatedly sometimes) to things i can't seem to grasp and keep a hold of. oh well...at least i let them play their video games after they listen, huh?...and i'm not too bad of a cook?...chuckle, chuckle...

off to work my day...
peace

what's in a name?

i guess the alternate title could be countdown day three...

so what's in a name? that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.

shakespeare was right and i've been pondering this for a few days now... when someone hurts someone else and calls it helping, does that change anything? if we think we're human and someone calls us something less, does that change anything? well, i think it does....usually. but then what are we left with? what do you call that?

my sister loves her ex-girlfriend. her ex-girlfriend has a new girlfriend. my sister still has a vision in her mind of what could still be for them. and i hate watching her hurt... i want to tell her to replace that vision with something else...not to think about it. kind of like replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. but i can't. because i don't know that that would be the right thing to do... is this denial? an inability to "face facts"? or is it love? loyalty that we'll all admire when they're celebrating their tenth anniversary? i don't know. it's like a rose...it has thorns...but it still smells kind of sweet, too.

and i've never been able to find a crystal ball that works for me like the ones in the movies...

at my counseling session yesterday, we talked about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. thoughts are very powerful for me...the energy they carry can shape my day, my month, my year. but then i guess it's not necessarily the energy the thoughts carry as much as the energy that they are generated by. either way...work on shaping the thought, and you work on shaping your energy. this is powerful. i told my sons yesterday that they loved each other. that they "got" things about each other that the rest of the world probably would never "get". that they were going through some hard times, but that hard times were temporary and that their love would help them find their way to treating each other kindly and with respect and with care...even when they didn't think they felt like it. that love is a powerful motivator...and energy, but i didn't say that part.

i didn't have any doubts about using this tool with my sons in this way. i believe i need to leave them a legacy of hope and the power to carry it forward. but my sister...i'm not sure how to shape things with her...i don't really even think it's up to me. so i wished her peace and sent her my love...because those things i have zero doubt about. she's running this half marathon with me sunday. she's the one who asked me. she really gave me a chance to find something inside myself and while it hasn't been all hearts and flowers, i really appreciate this opportunity. i will return the favor one day...i will.

so what's in a name? i think it has to do with what we carry with us and send out to others. but that's about as far as i've gotten in figuring this one out... i'm ok with that. i don't know why i'm feeling so cheerful today...but i'm glad for it.
peace

ps--a mama on my apu board posted this essay, at this address, today...it's about the current democratic candidates, and it says a lot of what i feel.... (so there's my warning...) :) http://www.womensmediacenter.com/ex/020108.html