Tuesday, February 12, 2008

what's in a name?

i guess the alternate title could be countdown day three...

so what's in a name? that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.

shakespeare was right and i've been pondering this for a few days now... when someone hurts someone else and calls it helping, does that change anything? if we think we're human and someone calls us something less, does that change anything? well, i think it does....usually. but then what are we left with? what do you call that?

my sister loves her ex-girlfriend. her ex-girlfriend has a new girlfriend. my sister still has a vision in her mind of what could still be for them. and i hate watching her hurt... i want to tell her to replace that vision with something else...not to think about it. kind of like replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. but i can't. because i don't know that that would be the right thing to do... is this denial? an inability to "face facts"? or is it love? loyalty that we'll all admire when they're celebrating their tenth anniversary? i don't know. it's like a rose...it has thorns...but it still smells kind of sweet, too.

and i've never been able to find a crystal ball that works for me like the ones in the movies...

at my counseling session yesterday, we talked about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. thoughts are very powerful for me...the energy they carry can shape my day, my month, my year. but then i guess it's not necessarily the energy the thoughts carry as much as the energy that they are generated by. either way...work on shaping the thought, and you work on shaping your energy. this is powerful. i told my sons yesterday that they loved each other. that they "got" things about each other that the rest of the world probably would never "get". that they were going through some hard times, but that hard times were temporary and that their love would help them find their way to treating each other kindly and with respect and with care...even when they didn't think they felt like it. that love is a powerful motivator...and energy, but i didn't say that part.

i didn't have any doubts about using this tool with my sons in this way. i believe i need to leave them a legacy of hope and the power to carry it forward. but my sister...i'm not sure how to shape things with her...i don't really even think it's up to me. so i wished her peace and sent her my love...because those things i have zero doubt about. she's running this half marathon with me sunday. she's the one who asked me. she really gave me a chance to find something inside myself and while it hasn't been all hearts and flowers, i really appreciate this opportunity. i will return the favor one day...i will.

so what's in a name? i think it has to do with what we carry with us and send out to others. but that's about as far as i've gotten in figuring this one out... i'm ok with that. i don't know why i'm feeling so cheerful today...but i'm glad for it.

ps--a mama on my apu board posted this essay, at this address, today...it's about the current democratic candidates, and it says a lot of what i feel.... (so there's my warning...) :) http://www.womensmediacenter.com/ex/020108.html

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