shit

it just has to be the title because it's the word that's gone through my head so many times lately and in so many different contexts that i'm going to WRITE about it...

so, first off, like with all this anger and stuff with my mom, i've been thinking a lot about my shit, her shit...whose shit? and how do we get this shit worked out?

and then last night, i was watching this documentary with a friend called young at heart. now, this is about a senior choir singing modern music. it is make you laugh, makes you cry, feel it down to your toes and maybe even pee your pants kind of wonderful. but that's just my opinion. (although i'm pretty sure jen would agree.) and, since it's about seniors, i don't think i'll blow it if i tell you someone dies. or maybe more than one...you'll have to see the movie for that. but here i am all choked up because someone died, and the people on the screen are saying things like, "he was a nice guy. there will forever be a hole in our group. now let's go sing." i mean, not in so many words. but it was the attitude. one woman said she knew, without a doubt, that the guy who died would want them to go on. that she'd want the show to go on if it was her. another woman said she'd already told the choir that if she collapsed on stage, just push her out of the way and keep singing. it was....what's the word? humbling? sort of. the kind of thing that puts your life in perspective...that helps you see what's important AS WELL AS how much shit you're putting energy into that just doesn't matter. (yes, remember, this is about shit) but the odd thing was when i thought about letting go and embracing what was important, i felt some mental hold tighten on my shit...i mean, no lie. i felt it. i don't know what that's about...it's definitely shit i need to work on...this over attachment to my shit....but it was a strange glimpse into the troll thing that resides in my brain...along with the beautiful spirit part, of course. (oh, but i guess she doesn't reside in my brain...oh well)

so i went to the maker faire with my son's robotics team today. it was a blast. amazing. we're doing a research product on biosolids. what are biosolids? well, go google them. but just know that i am constantly amazed at the shit i learn about with my kids. i mean, you just never know the shit you could become an expert on... (yes, pun intended...)

and while at the maker faire, i met my friend jeanni and her son...and upon seeing them i realized how very deeply i had missed these two particular people. i mean, they are always here with me, a part of me...always will be, i imagine. but it was a deep pulling feeling when i saw them. we laughed a lot today and saw some pretty amazing and nerdy and awesome things...that strangely, we were all able to appreciate together...or not so strangely...but seeing jeanni was, yes, the shit.

and so concludes today's discourse on shit. it's just a part of life, right? it happens...it smells awful, but it can also grow some pretty amazing things.
peace