running

the half marathon is next month. and i went two weeks without getting on the treadmill. i don't know why i do that...but i'm pretty consistent about it, i'll give myself that. i think i took a whole month off before the last half. but the last one was in february and there was december and, well, whatever...

today i was geared up to do a big run. a long one. at least half the distance i'll be running next month...probably more. my treadmill stops at 99:99 minutes, so i figure that's a good time, a good distance. but forty minutes into the run, i could tell it probably wasn't the best idea to go the full 100. so i ran for an hour. this was my second time on the treadmill after my two weeks off. felt kind of silly trying to push myself so quickly and having to back down...what am i? a newbie? i will admit, thought, that i often back off to prevent myself from getting hurt. and while i don't know that i would've hurt myself, i felt really good about the decision to just go the hour.

while i run, i try to let my mind go...just let it be free and not really allow myself to focus on anything that might be rolling around in there. but i had to laugh when i caught myself going through all the different ways i could train for the next race. uhm, hello? i am training...why do i always imagine these perfect, cool, great training sessions i'll have and ignore the way i train?...it makes me laugh. this disconnect between my ideals and, well, my reality. i mean, i think it's alright to have ideals. and i think it's okay for my reality to be different from that. but i guess what made me laugh is that i often have this skewed way of seeing myself...or of not seeing myself at all. i run. not amazingly well. but i run. a lot. often. for me, anyway. and i'm pleased with it. i enjoy it immensely. it mellows me out better than any bottle of wine...(although the wine is a close, close second). and it leaves me feeling pretty strong when i'm out with my kids or even on my own. and you know what else it's done? i think it's improving my posture. because in order to not goof up my lower back or my shoulders, i focus on using my core muscles to keep me up, my chest open, breathing well...and even my sister in law, the other day, told me i looked taller. which i thought was really odd until she said what she really meant was that i was standing up straighter. go figure...

now i just need to get out and buy myself a new pair of shoes. it is so hard to find running shoes that offer enough arch support, but not too much. this is my least favorite part of running. but i do like the cushy socks...
peace