thoughtfulness lite

woke up this morning to e peeing on himself in his sleep. this is most unpleasant, i would imagine, because when laying flat on your back, naked from the waist down, small boys pee in an arc that goes up and back over onto their faces, pretty much. which is what happened this morning. not a pleasant way to be woken up at all, i think. so he got a bath first thing. (well, second thing, if you count the peeing on his own head as first)

my stomach is so unpleasantly bloated right now. i wish my period would just hurry up, already. i was thinking last night about how i've read that american women are the only ones who experience pms...that women in other countries don't report this. and i thought, "well, fuck it then...because i feel like shit right now and i don't think it's just coincidence that it's usually right before my period that i feel this way. but if it's me being lazy or undisciplined, well, whatever...just give me some damned chocolate and some wine..." (i just added that last part to be funny....that only occurred to me right now...do you think 9am is too early for chocolate and wine?...)

i am overwhelmed. my life is like a horse, trotting along fairly quickly right now, and i'm just doing my best to hold on. as a matter of fact, i'm pretty sure if i stop to think about it, i'll fall off and break something, so i'm doing my best not to think about it, just to hold on. i baked a loaf of banana bread and two dozen pumpkin/chocolate chip muffins yesterday. (froze a lot of the muffins) i'm painting. i'm running. i'm wanting to bead myself a necklace to hook my glasses on, but i haven't done that one yet. i'll read to the kids today, although we're not really doing our full school load this week... i'm just doing what i can to hold on. luckily, i think things will settle some at the end of this month, but it makes me feel kind of queasy how long away that seems. so i'm not going to say that again....

alright, i slept for shit last night, woke up to some performance art (living fountain of boy) this morning, and ran out of cream for my coffee (and the soy milk isn't fulfilling my expectations), so that's about all i can muster. good enough....
peace