and the hits just keep coming....

i've been kind of busy lately...so let me just rattle for a few...

--first, residency has been a difficult time. i can tell you ways it's changed my spouse. and, in all fairness to me, it's because i want to be understanding that i think about how this has stretched him and challenged him...perhaps, making it more difficult for him to be a kind, gentle spouse. but i am starting to wonder how i've changed, too. i think primarily i've changed in my attitudes toward him...but maybe there's more to it. i guess i should get my eyes back on my own page...

--then there's this whole drive to the grand canyon with my two sils and their families, but not my husband (who is, you know, their brother...the-rapist called him the glue that binds me to the rest of the folks i'm camping with...binds...funny word choice, you think?). and i was really in denial for quite some time that the hospital would not let him go...kept thinking there had to be a catch...they were pulling our chains. then i figured out they were quite serious about him not being able to do this...he would, in fact, have to be at work. (where he already spends so many hours a week, but i'm talking about camping, not the hospital, right?) so we're ready....almost. then today, my second born walks in with fever and a raging headache, almost in tears, looking like hell. we're assuming it's the strep throat his older brother had last week. and i, the chief mindfucker extraordinaire, am trying to just let...it...go and accept...however...things...turn...out.

--i do want to say, that in the face of all of this...i am reading the most hilarious book in the world. ok, i don't know that it's the funniest book in the world, but it is pretty freaking hilarious... there are many things i am, but unwilling to laugh in the face of adversity is not one of them. i picked this up at the library (after contemplating running away and never returning vs. jumping off, i don't know, something tall?...ugh, it was a tough weekend...but in all fairness, i think there were a lot of things going on at once, not the least of which was i was tired) after a friend had recommended it awhile back. ok, well, maybe she's mentioned it more than once...but i had no idea how funny it could possibly be. i stayed up late reading it just because i could not stop. (which no, did not help the tiredness, but sometimes you just gotta choose...) so here's the link to the book.

--and one last thing...mean people suck. which i realize is not a very nice statement. but sometimes, even when you know a population needs to be embraced, and even though you do embrace that population in your heart of hearts, you just can't help but feel a little short on patience sometimes. so mean people, let's pull it together. please.

ok, i think that's about it. my head is starting to hurt, but i am just going to ignore it....and i'm definitely not going to mindfuck it...definitely not...
peace