Tuesday, May 20, 2008

quick thoughts

quick only because i am tired and don't have the energy to make them longer...or the energy to come up with one cohesive-ish post.

let's start with today...at ten, the rock climbing gym called to find out why we weren't there ready to go on the outdoor climbing trip today. uhm, yeah, i was wondering why they didn't mention that last week... so we throw on clothes and head out. it was a freaking blast. and i cannot tell you how happy it made me to spend a day sweating outdoors, watching my kids do great things, overcome fear, gain confidence in themselves..."trust yourself" is what the teachers always tell them. well, that and "i'm right here under you...i've got your spot".... it was cool. they really committed themselves to some really hard climbs. and they didn't make them all, but wow, they were awesome. it was wonderful...

also while we were there, another mama went looking around for a bit, and came back and to show little bit and i this tree snake she'd found. man, i am doing so well in overcoming my absolute terror of snakes... i went and we saw this tree snake. he was cute....green...not very big. little bit thought it was pretty cool. all the kids went and saw it. it was cool...very exotic for texas, i thought.

so now we're home...cooling off and taking turns showering off. and shoving food into our faces. we finished all our water, all our apples, and our fritos, too. (hey, it was a last minute deal...)

ok, a thought i've been working on... my best friend in high school used to have this sign in her room that said "if i tell you who i am, you may not like who i am, and that is all i have." i've thought about that a lot. it probably pretty much defined a lot of how i operated for much of my life. but the other day it occurred to me...well, no, if you don't like who i am, i still have who i am....right? and if that's not enough, then maybe instead of working to please whoever is not liking who i am, i should figure out why who i am isn't enough for me. and for what it's worth, i don't think it's because i don't like myself or whatever. i just think i've spent a lot of my life pleasing others and that pleasing others is a large part of who i am. but i have to be okay with the things i choose to do and let go of the others....in order to be okay with me and not thrown off every time someone isn't pleased with me...at least this is what i'm thinking right now. i'm a learn on your feet kind of woman...

maybe i'll come back later for a little more...after i shower...and rest...what an awesome day.

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