Sunday, November 18, 2007

home again, again

so we're home. it was a lovely, lovely time. all four kids had a blast and it was one of those completely reaffirming events for me... got home, took some ibuprofen, and slept soundly for the next eight and a half hours. nothing really hurts this morning, coffee's on, broccoli cheese soup on the stove, life is rolling on.

there are some things i must take care of on my car. the fact that my windshield wiper doesn't work worth a shit is on the top of my list. and i suppose tires should not skid, even a little, so i'm going to have to go have those looked at too. maybe i'll just blow the roof off and get the damn thing inspected, too...

so, there's this thing i wanted to post. i spend a lot of time wrestling with the idea of people understanding me. and i watch many people argue, cry, lament, and otherwise stress over being understood. well, during a discussion, i saw this quote...

You're going to have a hard time convincing me you care what I think. I'm more inclined to think you're just wondering whether or not you should be offended by what you don't understand. It is however making you think and that was my intention all along.

this struck me as one of the most profound things i've read in awhile. i just thought it was brilliant. and true. and something i needed to post here for quicker reference. because oftentimes our emotions get high when we are trying to figure out if we should be offended or we're often looking to put some one's explanation in one of two boxes..."offensive and i must argue back" or "inoffensive and no need to argue back". now, maybe this is just my shit and no one else has it...but this is often true for me. and when i'm being asked, "well, i'm just asking you to explain what you mean" i sometimes feel like this is how i'm being listened to. and it sucks. and that is why i find this to be the most educational thing i've read in awhile. it'll be my holiday mantra...hehehehe

i woke up this morning to a call from my sister. she and her girlfriend are trying to decide their future together or apart... i love my sister and will support whatever she decides. but now that she and i have reached this new level of communication about our relationships (no, i do not have clearly defined "levels of communication"...bahaha...maybe i'm the only one who felt my statement implied that), i get the chance to see how my parents affected someone else in their perspectives on things. she has dad's honesty hang up, too. i was glad to know it wasn't just me. i actually think our dad has come to a different place on his honesty hang up...but since he parented my sister and i before this growth, well, we have to grow that way, too.

which is something i've observed in n... there are so many things he does that remind me of myself when i was younger. which makes sense. but i've already given him all that shit to grow through.... ugh, frustrating.

ok, i need to go eat. i think i just sprained my brain trying to think too much after a long week and with too little caffeine on board...

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