Sunday, November 25, 2007

running, thanksgiving continues, and loving one's spouse

i think i have mentioned that one of my biggest challenges in this half marathon isn't the physical aspects. it will be all about the mental ability to focus on something that will last for so long and not get overwhelmed by anxiety. it will be hard to run that first mile if i allow the next twelve to be piled up on my shoulders, clouding and twisting my thoughts, tightening my chest and tensing my muscles... i didn't realize how difficult it would be until i ran my first three mile run the other day. my body handled it find but it was a little hairy starting out. but i did it...and that felt good. it would be awesome to come away from this not just physically more fit, but also mentally more fit..... (a girl can dream....) :)

we had thanksgiving with my husband's family yesterday. well, half of his family. but it was a good half...we had a good time, the food was good, and i'm glad with the way it went. it was sad when half of the family called to say they weren't coming...we'd been planning this for awhile. but it really did turn out to be a good time, i think enjoyed by all. so now i find myself cozily deposited into the christmas season. i have some christmas shopping to do online and some lesson plans to write up for the week. we'll be starting advent soon...woo-hoo! i think we should get the tree sometime this week just because N is on nights next month and i don't know what that will be like...and i THINK we're going to try to put up christmas lights this year. (man, i am just feeling wild here...) :) but i'm actually excited about christmas this year...not feeling overwhelmed and exhausted already...

and N.... he's singing "silent lucidity" right now as i type. maybe that says more than i could? (ha) he makes me so damned crazy sometimes, but he is such a good man and he really is my best friend, even though i treat him pretty shittily sometimes. (uh, as he brings me coffee and half a pumpkin empanada?....dude, what is going on here? i don't think he knows i'm writing about him...weird...) i just look back and see and feel so much more good than bad and am grateful for the ground we've covered, the places we've been, and the time we've shared.

ok, i have more, but i think this was reasonable...i don't want to completely purge at once... :) because for all these things i am humbly grateful. the spirit of giving thanks is still with me and i will sit in it for as long as i can. i have learned to sit in negative feelings, but not yet to appreciate the positive experiences and sit in them... and i don't want to run off from this too quickly...

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