home again, home again

we made it home last night. i thought about getting on the computer, but instead i called my dad and drank most of a bottle of wine while dh took the kids out for a few hours. i was going to leave to visit our old hsing group today, but after only spending a very small amount of time with dh last night (and being pretty drunk while we were hanging out) i decided i'll just make it a day trip tomorrow...leave early, get back late. i think it'll be fun and then i can halt the traveling and take care of my house for awhile. it's all good... i will say that once i got my anxiety about traveling ironed out late the night before i left, things went well and everything was fine. but my anxiety was pretty much contorting me inside. it was very marked when i started to relax...

which is interesting to me because my mother just got diagnosed with grave's disease. and heredity is a big part of thyroid disease. and when i think about how depressed and reclusive my grandmother was, as well as so many other symptoms that i never even thought about...it's just interesting. the sudden connectivity between me and the women in my family is kind of strange and unfamiliar, but still interesting to me. i think i often look at parts of my family as people i spent time with and shared some stuff with, but not really as part of me. i guess it's time to come home to that reality, too, in some ways....

there are so many other thoughts swimming around in my head, but i just have a lot to do. hopefully, once we're back home and back into a routine (of some sort) i'll be able to return to a more cohesive thought process that can cover more than just the basics. but i am doing really well to limit myself to the basics for now...and i think my brain is thanking me for my intervention...
peace